I just turned 18, and I am supper excited about the possibility of adulthood. It has not even been a year since I left the shelter that was provided by my guardians to further my studies. I call it a shelter because I have never belonged nor have that place ever felt like home to me. My father was imprisoned by my own maternal family, and that resulted in me having no relations with my paternal family.
Before I confuse you further, let me explain what happened. So my mother disappeared when I was few months old and for some reason unknown to me my father was then arrested of her disappearance. I don't know the full story, but my maternal family hated that man with everything they had, and I somehow paid for his sins. I grew up in a family home at my grandmother's house. She had 9 kids in total, including my mother and 17 grandchildren. Three of my uncles and one aunt stayed with us, including their off springs. I was the only "orphan" at that house.
Aunts
Amanda ( Married)
Kids: Mpilo, Senzeni, and Zandile
Siyanda ( Married)
Kids: None
Thembeka ( the only aunt that stayed with us
Kids: Pholiso, Bheki, Asemhle, Sisipho, and Lungile
Londeka (My Mother)
Senzozakhe(me)Uncles
Sizwe (Married)
Kids: Sebe, Ntando, and Mpilonhle
Mziwakhe ( divorced) stayed with us
Kids: Alinamandla and Sebenzile
Thadolwethu ( Married)
Kids: Mphathi and Mpendulo
Msizi (Non commiter) stayed with us
Kids: Realeboha ( stays with her mom)
Sibusiso ( stayed with us)Now that we have the family tree and the dynamics, I think it's safe that I finally and officially introduce myself. I am Senzozakhe Mbatha, an 18 year old female. I was raised by my grandmother in the heart of KZN. I was fortunate in a way that my uncle sibusiso helped me secure a scholarship for my high school years, and that was my first foot out of the door. I was a loner and very isolated child mainly because I was either rejected at home or did not fit in school because I did not measure up to the standard.
My grandmother was neither abusive nor affectionate towards me. Our relationship was nothing special she provided shelter, food, and all basics needed for school. However, she turned a blind eyed to the emotional abuse I suffered from her daughters, Aunt Siyanda and Thandeka, and some of my cousins. My uncles never bothered with me, but I had a relationship with Uncle Msizi and Sibusiso. Uncle Sibusiso was the same age as me and a 1 grade behind, so he could not help much other than be my confidant. Uncle Msizi would buy me clothes and sometimes get me handme downs he would get from Realeboha's mom. Even today I am not sure whom of the siblings or the nieces Realeboha's mom got the clothes from, but I was grateful that she did not give me worn out clothes that I wasn't be able to wear.
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Blank Slate
RomanceA beginning has no prior, and sometimes that's all one needs. Sometimes, all we need is a fresh start and new identity with no past attached, but is that even possible?