warm

falling

i'm so tired, but sleep never feels like rest anymore. it's just closing my eyes and falling into another world where everything feels wrong, where the weight of the day follows me into my dreams. i wake up with this heaviness in my chest, like i’ve been running all night and still haven’t gotten anywhere.

the dreams are always the same, things i’ve tried to forget, faces that turn away, moments where i reach out, but no one reaches back. i wake up exhausted, heart-pounding, sweaty, and the worst part is, it feels like the dream never really ends. i carry it with me all day, that same sinking feeling.

sometimes, it’s hard to tell where the dreams stop and where the real world begins because it all just feels... off. everything is blurred together, and no matter how much i sleep, i can’t escape it. i can’t shake the tiredness, the weight of these bad dreams that cling to me like a damn second skin.

i just want to rest, to really rest, but it feels like i don’t know how anymore.

school feels like a constant weight pressing down on me, and i can't shake it. the deadlines, the assignments, the endless pressure to be perfect—it’s insane. everyone around me seems to handle it so easily, like they’re coasting through, while i’m drowning under the weight of it all. i sit in class, surrounded by people, but it feels like i’m completely alone, like i’m the only one struggling to keep up.

it’s not just the work—it’s everything. the expectations, the silent competition, the way it feels like everyone has their place, and i’m just... lost. i try to smile, act like everything’s fine, but inside, i’m falling apart. no one sees it, though. no one notices how much i’m breaking under the pressure. i guess it’s easier to hide it than to admit i’m not okay.

every time i get an assignment back, my stomach drops, and it feels like no matter how hard i try, it's never enough. the grades stare back at me, cold and unforgiving, and it just makes the loneliness worse. i don’t know who to talk to about it because everyone else seems to have it figured out.

so i sit there, in the middle of it all, feeling like i’m not really there at all. just another useless soul passing through, weighed down by the pressure, and wondering if anyone would even notice if i disappeared. which we all know by now, they wouldn't.