2 broke girls [ max black x f!m reader]

pilot

''Pick up tables 12,4,11''oleg said while ringing the bell."I got it" said max whilie pickig up the plates"and when you got a second stop looking at my boobs " max said whilst walking to the tables with the food.

whilst max and quinn was waiting on tables. quinn walk past this on table and she was being stopped by one table "excuse me *click click* waitress. dude*click*"she walked back "hi what can i get ya?" "we need some--" *snap snap* "is that annoying? *snap snap* is that obnoxious and rude? *snap snap* would you find it distracting if someone did that to you while you were working? oh, you dont have a job sorry." the other guy said "damm dude she burned you" "oh *snap snap*no hipster.do not think we're on the same. we have nothing in common. i wear knit hats when it's cold out. You wear knit hats 'cause of Coldplay. You have tattoos to piss off your dad. My dad walk out before I was even born.and finally you think *snap snap* this is the sound that gets you service. I think *snap snap* this is the sound that dries up my vagina." Quinn said " the other waitress disappeared the Russian one.we need horseradish please." The guy said " that ladies, is how you treat a waitress" said quinn said whilst walking away "Pauline." Said max whilst walking in to the walk in freezer.

Later
Quinns pov

Me and max were walking with are cupcakes into the Diner "hey earl" said max and me in unison "I made your favourite red velvet." Max said whilst giving earl a cupcake " my little cupcakes brought me a cupcake. Lemme pay for that." Earl said " oh no no. It's on the house." I said to earl " it's your birthday. How old you gonna be." .max said to finish of my sentence "75" he said " oh earl, if you were just three years younger." I said to him " yo max, quinn, come here. The new boss fired that Russian waitress, Pauline. Turns out kournikova was Vladimir puttin' it out." Earl said whilst me and max were walking to the counter han came out from his office "hello today I have paycheck for you." "I need to talk talk to you han you fired paulina han" max said whilst I was handing her cupcakes to put on the stand "I am an no longer han lee I have new American name to go with changing neighborhood." Han said " tho go with the changing neighborhood you need to remember this han for your immigration exam." Me and max corrected him "correct to go with the changing neighborhood.' he said and Lear's his throat "Bryce? Your name is Bryce lee?"he nods his head at Quinn's question 'wait,wait um, um um don't hire a new waitresse okay?" Max said whilst I sood there and watched we've been doing all the anyway, and we could use the extra money." " U need help." ' no I don't" ' everyone need help sometimes' no we don't I've been waiting my whole life okay/ I've waited on tables, I've waited in bars, I've waited on home pregnancy tests." Max said " I've already hired new waitress. She work in all top restaurants in manhattan. I gave her Paulina's uniform."he said as Caroline walk out of the ladies restroom " hi. MR.lee not to complain,but I think someone wore this before me, like right before me. Is it possible If I could get anothwer one that a little less moist, also this musturd color doesn't really go with my skin tone." Caroline said " oh boy this is going to be fun" Quinn mumbled

Me and max walk in the back with Caroline. I was watching max tell Caroline every thing "okay I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention." "Hi I'm Caroline, by the way and you're max?'' "don't get attached, so  this is thee Williamsburg diner, owned by Han Lee,who changed his name to Bryce lee. Because I guess he wants people to take him even Less seriously. Eight months ago he brought it from the Russian mob. Clientele used   to be all eastern bloc criminals and crack whores, but then he took over and ruined it."max said to Caroline hey sexy woman'' Oleg said "you look so pretty today.you look so beautiful, I forgot how bad your personality is." Thanks Oleg"max said after he was finish  he looked at Caroline "hey barbie" said to her then left. ''Ugh" Caroline said that Oleg, he will hit on you aggressively and relentlessly he doesn't realize he look like that and I don't have the heart to tell him." I told Caroline as she looked at me weirdly but just looking for my name  "I'm Quinn" I said and she nodddd "could we have some menus" some random guy said "oh sure'' said caroline happy and excited." Don't smile." I said  looking over to max waiting for her to finish my sentence " 'cause it raises the bar, and then I have to smile. And I cant be doing that, its exhausting and I have a bad back. That's earl were in love." Max finished  as I said "do not talk to him, unless you want to feel whiter than you already are. Oh, and that stain? Not clam chowder." I said to her whilst walking to the back. ' go marry the  ketchups" max ordered Caroline as I walked over to a table she whispered in max's ear "that was really sexy''then walking away
"Okay now divorces the ketchups" I heard from max whilst me and earl watched.

" The Caroline Channing" I whisper-shouted to max as she was wiping down the counters . Later at closing time split our tips give me them."max said as I sat down and watched Caroline put a $1 dollar bill down on each 3 piles. "Wow you did well then I thought you would." I said.  "Listen, tonight I thought of a way to make extra money they've totally underestimated the price point on those red velvet cupcakes. In manhattan the asking price is at least $7,so we could sell them for seven,and pocket the difference." Caroline said "nothing about that sounds Wrong to you?" I asked her " its not are fault the idiots who makes the cupcakes  doesn't know their worth." Caroline said " were the idiots who make the cupcakes" max and I said in unison "new information" Caroline said "that's stupid nobody would want to pay seven dollars for one of my cupcakes.." max said  " really cause" Caroline said whilst fishing her hand though  her purse picking up  dollar bills " well at least we know your not adopted" I said.

In the apartment

"Pease come to bed" I said  begging her to. " I cant I have to be in the city by 10'' max said whilst I walk to bed.

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First chapter yay :)