'Cause I'm miserable (And nobody even knows)

1

Everything went on as if nothing ever happened in the first place.
The same day Solitaire set fire to the school, arrived a communication from president Kent saying that all the students from Higgs were supposed to start their classes at Truham on Monday. Everyone seemed to not care much about the fact that a whole damn school burned to the ground.
And this added to the list of things that were driving Tori insane.

After going with her brother, Nick and Michael to the hospital to make sure her arm wasn't extremely damaged, Charlie had wanted to tell what happened on the roof to their mother and father, but after lots of begging and reassurances, he was almost fully convinced she was fine and that she tried to jump cause she was just overwhelmed by the fire and the heat; and not cause she had wanted to actually kill herself for a long time, absolutely not.

Eventually, he made her promise she was going to seek his or Michael's help in case things got bad again. She promised, just to make him happy, but without any real intention to stick to it.
It's not like Tori thought she was the most well adjusted teenager out there, but it also wasn't that bad, and honestly, she kind of had lost all hopes in even trying to get better, to find something to live for like her brother did; she really admired him, even after everything he was still fighting to get the life he deserved, and here she was complaining and being sad about irrelevant shit. No wonder she didn't have friends who stuck around.

Even if she succeeded in convincing Charlie to not tell on her, she still had to explain to her parents why her arm was covered in gauzes, and their mother's reaction was enough to make her relieved Charlie hadn't talked about the roof.
-why were you even inside the school?!- she started screaming hysterically -were you trying to make people notice you? You could simply make friends and get good grades, yes I know about your lack of effort in school too Victoria don't make that face, your professor called me some weeks ago-
Wow and she didn't say nothing till now? Tori found herself thinking -you could simply be a normal person instead of throwing yourself in these stupid situations-
Of course her mother didn't understand the gravity of what was going on behind the scenes, like everyone else after all. Sometimes she felt like she was the only one who cared about stuff, and maybe that's what all of this was: she cared and cared so much she became numb of emotions as a self defence mechanism.

-it was not stupid, I found out who was behind it all and had to act- she tried to make her understand.
-oh please Victoria, the world really doesn't need you to play the hero you clearly are not- her mother spat.
It's not about that. It was never about that. Or was it? did she need to feel like the main character of her own story? Instead of irrelevant wallpaper?

Charlie tried to say something in her defense but their mother shushed him immediately -I don't want to listen to any excuse and I really hope she didn't involve you in any of this Charlie- and then without waiting for an answer, she looked at the clock on the kitchen wall -Charlie it's time for your afternoon snack, please? Victoria... You go take a shower... You smell of smoke, and you will go to school on Monday, I don't want to hear any excuse. I heard from the other parents you are all being moved to Truham. You'll start focusing again on your studies, I expect your grades to improve and you will take the bus with your brother am I clear?-
-yes mom- Tori mumbled, not having in her the force to argue, she was too tired, too numb to even care.
Her mother dismissed her with a hand and went on to focus her attention on Charlie and whatever snack he had to eat.

Tori went straight to her room and threw herself on top of her bed, she took her laptop from the nightstand and opened solitaire's page, bu there were no new posts in sight. Guess it was it, everything was over, this project burned down with the school.
She checked her phone, 5 unread messages from Michael, he was asking if she was fine and if she had talked with her parents about what happened.
She didn't reply, knowing he wouldn't be happy with her answer. She threw the phone on her pillow and sighed, I hate myself so fuckin much.
What was she supposed to do now. She felt like her life had no meaning anymore, now that she resolved the mystery and found out the culprits her life was back to normal, there were no more distractions to keep her mind at least a little bit busy.
She felt a sense of despair creeping up at her spine.
Was anything worth living for if nothing had meaning in this world? If a whole school burning down had no meaning for anyone, if she was the only one who cared? Then how could the world even have a space for her out there, why would someone even care about her insignificant self.