it was the day of the big field trip at abbott elementary, and chaos was in the air. the destination? the philadelphia zoo. the goal? survival.
janine was in her classroom, packing sandwiches into brown paper bags. "i made sure to get everyone's favorite snacks! i know some of the kids can be picky."
melissa glanced at the sandwiches. "janine, these look... sad. what is this, celery and peanut butter? we're not rabbits."
"it's healthy!" janine chirped. "and besides, the zoo is all about learning, bonding, and adventure!"
barbara walked in, arms crossed. "adventure, janine? do you remember the last field trip? the children climbed a statue of benjamin franklin like it was a jungle gym."
janine smiled nervously. "that was... a learning moment?"
barbara raised an eyebrow. "you're always too hopeful, dear. today, we are just trying to keep the children."
meanwhile, jacob was outside the classroom, enthusiastically talking to a group of fourth graders. "the zoo is a perfect metaphor for society. each animal represents a different part of our world's delicate balance. isn't that fascinating?"
one of the kids looked at him, deadpan. "will there be lions?"
jacob, not missing a beat, replied, "yes, and the lion symbolizes power, strength—"
"cool. i wanna see the lions," the kid said, cutting him off.
at that moment, ava strutted in, wearing a bedazzled safari hat and oversized sunglasses. "alright, listen up, peasants! this field trip is going to be legendary because i, ava coleman, am coming along. you're welcome."
gregory blinked. "you're actually coming?"
"i am the reason this school runs smoothly, gregory," ava said, flipping her hair. "and who knows, i might get a few killer selfies with the giraffes. i'm feeling very 'zoo chic' today."
"and besides, someone has to make sure this trip doesn't turn into a national geographic disaster."
barbara gave ava a disapproving look. "ava, a field trip is not a runway. we're responsible for the children's safety."
"and my instagram feed," ava replied with a grin. "but don't worry, barbara, i multitask like a pro."
once they arrived at the zoo, the day immediately spun out of control. within the first ten minutes, one of janine's students tried to crawl under the fence into the meerkat exhibit, jacob had already cornered a group of uninterested parents to explain the zoo's history, and gregory was desperately trying to corral a group of kids who were obsessed with finding the snake house.
"this is fine," janine said to herself, while chasing after two kids who were determined to get closer to the flamingos. "everything is fine."
melissa, meanwhile, was cool as ever. she had her group of students lined up in front of the tiger enclosure. "you see that tiger? fierce, right? but you toss in a nice hoagie, and he'll be your best friend."
"really, miss schemmenti?" one of the kids asked.
melissa smirked. "well, no. but don't you feel tougher just knowing that?"
jacob, overhearing, jumped in. "actually, tigers are carnivores, so hoagies wouldn't be the best—"
"jacob," melissa interrupted, "it's a metaphor."
over at the giraffe exhibit, ava was in full "influencer mode." she posed dramatically next to a giant stuffed giraffe she'd bought at the gift shop. "this giraffe is gonna make me go viral," she said, snapping pictures. "i'm talking influencer status."
barbara, watching the chaos unfold, sighed and shook her head. "lord, give me strength."
at lunch, the teachers finally gathered for a moment of calm—well, as calm as things ever got at abbott.
"you see," barbara said, carefully placing a napkin on her lap, "field trips like these require order, patience, and discipline."
just as she finished her sentence, a sandwich flew through the air and landed in her lap.
ava, not missing a beat, pulled out her phone. "that's gonna make a great meme."
gregory, clearly exhausted, slumped into a bench. "if we can get through this without someone falling into a bear enclosure, i'll consider it a win."
janine, ever hopeful, smiled. "oh come on, it's not that bad! the kids are having fun, right?"
at that moment, a loud scream echoed from the monkey exhibit. a group of janine's students had somehow climbed halfway up the fake jungle vines. janine gasped and bolted over. "okay, never mind, it's that bad!"
melissa snorted. "called it."
by the end of the trip, everyone was exhausted. jacob was still trying to give an impromptu lecture on ecosystems to some confused llamas, gregory was corralling the kids back to the bus, and janine was struggling to get her students down from the jungle gym (again). barbara, looking slightly frazzled but composed as always, sighed deeply. "another day at abbott."
as they all piled onto the bus, ava flopped into a seat next to the giant stuffed giraffe. "i'm a star," she said, adjusting her sunglasses.
barbara shook her head, glancing out the window. "bless these children."
"and us," gregory muttered under his breath.
