Mr.Darcy?

1 - Trial and Error

Boy, was I stupid to think that adult life would be way better to deal with than being in school. I couldn't even decide on a college, how the hell will I decide on other more important things in life.

I groaned and shut my laptop after staring at it for hours.

It had been a year since I graduated from high school, and it was finally time to start my college life. I should've made better use of my one year drop and researched harder for a good college. But of course, I wasted my time, and now I am confused as hell when the admissions are about to start. Thankfully, my sister was better acquainted with the colleges in the city and suggested the ones that best suit my expectations, so it made the decision-taking a little easy.

I was about to lie down on my bed when I heard my mom call my name for dinner. I reached the kitchen and started helping my mom and my sister in law to set up the table. My brother joined us and we started the meal.

The three started talking about some long-distance relative getting pregnant after 9 years while my little nephew insisted on playing with his toys rather than eating.  I was barely paying attention to the scene before me before somehow the conversation shifted to my college.

"Have you chosen any college yet, Alaia?" my sister in law asked.

"I researched the ones Margaret suggested. They're all very nice, but I am still confused as to what to choose."

"Which ones did she suggest?"

"Stockton University, University of the Pacific, Culver-Stockton College and San Joaquin." I said while picking up Cyra with one hand and placing her carefully on my lap.

"Let's visit these universities tomorrow. We can get a look around the campus and even talk to other students there. That will give us a good idea about each place." my sister in law decided.

"Very good idea, Tabitha. You can properly talk to the staff there and get all the necessary information." I internally rolled my eyes at my mom. She still thought that I didn't have good communication skills, especially when it came to important matters like these. But maybe she wasn't entirely wrong because I did hate talking to people. I could talk to animals and inanimate objects for hours on end.

My brother agreed. I nodded as well because even if I did not want to go with her, I knew it was better this way. I did not hate my sister in law, not even close. But she was quite bossy and influencing, and I was anxious that she might force me into choosing the college I didn't really want to go to. But going to college was very important to me and this time I won't let anyone influence my decision.

After finishing dinner, I returned to my room with Cyra. I placed her on my bed beside me and started playing with her fur while I answered Susanna's texts.

Cyra is my one year old red Persian cat. She was the unplanned gift on my eighteenth from mom. Unplanned because she wasn't the gift, initially. I found Cyra as a stray cat three months before my birthday. When I found her limping and crying in our driveway, I knew I had to take her in. I couldn't leave her alone like that. But my mom was completely against the idea of bringing any animal into our house. She said that taking care of them was too much of a hassle. I was very upset but still couldn't leave the little kitten alone. I fed her a little and then took her to the vet. Turned out that she has arthritis. The vet prescribed some medications and suggested ways to take care of her. Since that day till my birthday, I used to feed her and take care of her in the driveway. And finally, on my birthday, my mom handed me the kitten and gave me permission to adopt her. Needless to say, it was the best birthday ever.

Susannah texted me about her mother being on a cleanup mission after they came back from Rhode Island after about a month and that she is super tired because of it. I updated her on my life, which isn't very interesting, and that I will be visiting the campuses the next day. We talked for a while, and then I started getting ready for bed.

For years, my night time routine only consisted of me changing clothes and brushing my teeth. I never bothered to do skin care. Part of the reason was that I never seemed to have enough money to buy the products. I also thought that the only objective of doing a skin care routine was to look good. It took me years to realize that it was mainly done to keep the skin healthy, just like the rest of our body. I have struggled with self-esteem and self-love for as long as I can remember. It took me a long time to believe that it's ok if I am not perfect. What matters the most is that I try to do my best as much as possible. The result might not always be satisfactory, but the process should be.

So, as an initiative to start loving myself, I started taking my skin care routine seriously. I was anxious about using new products, but trial and error is the part of the process, and I am willing to be patient with myself.

Once I was done, I laid down on my bed, waiting to be dozed off.

Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to decide on one college.

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P.S The four universities mentioned actually exist, two of which are located at different places, but for the sake of the story, pretend that they are all in the same place.