Mr.Darcy?

2 - Girl Math

I look out as the sun casts its golden glow on everything below it. Antifragile by Lle Sserafim is playing in my earphones, distracting me from my anxiety. Wind blows through my hair, gently touching my neck, reminding me once again why I love sitting at the window seat with the windows down even at the age of nineteen.

Tabitha and I are on the way to Stockton University. Her enthusiasm to check out the universities was borderline obnoxious, something that probably I should've shown considering that I will be the one taking admission in one of them. But I was so on edge about the whole college thing that I couldn't match her temperament.

"What the fu-"

I gasp as I let my gaze fall on the front when the car stops. A transit bus is pulled up at the bus stop, and the person getting down from it makes my breathing stop.

It's not him. It can't be.

Marcus Peterson, or I think it is him, gets down from the bus, his bag hanging from his right shoulder. I can only see his side profile, and when we pass by him, his face is turned away from me.

Tabitha notices the look on my face and asks, "Are you alright?"

"Huh, y-yeah, I'm ok."

She looks convinced and turns her attention back to the road.

I am obviously not ok. I just saw my forever crush in the same place as me after fifteen months. I know it's not a very long time but it is when you are trying really hard to get over a guy who does not give a damn about you yet your eyes still sought after to find him in a room full of people. When I left NYC, where I had spent all my life, and moved to California, I was certain that life was telling me to finally move on from him because he is way out of my league. I mean, I know the shifting was due to financial reasons, but I am delusional.

Alaia, it wasn't him. Your mind is tricking you again.

I repeat to myself like a chant. I literally only saw the side of the guy's face. It could be anyone. They just looked similar to him. It was definitely someone else. I try to slow down my heartbeat and focus on the wind tickling my skin.

But there is no way I would be able to concentrate on college now. Every time something happened that would remind me of him, my mind would stop working for a few days and would keep coming up with fake scenarios with him. He had the power to affect me with just his name, and he didn't even know. This made him all the more annoying than he already was.

I had to text Susan and Zaira and ask them if Marcus posted anything about shifting on his Instagram stories. I stopped following him on the app because he is annoying because I have a crush on him. Girl math. But of course, my best friends found him very interesting due to the same fact as I found him frustrating. I know it wasn't him, I just had to confirm it.

As I am about to take out my phone and text them, my sister in law pulls into the parking lot of the university. She quickly gets out and gestures for me to do the same. The messages will have to wait.

We make our way to the reception.

"Hi, we are here for the FYBA admission," she says.

"You can visit Mrs. Ayesha Collins on the first floor. She will be in the staff room," the middle-aged receptionist answers brightly.

We start walking to the elevator where already a line is formed. While waiting for our turn, I let my eyes roam around the huge campus building. I always had a knack for expensive-looking things, and this building definitely screams money with its state-of-the-art infrastructure and palatial features. Studying in such a cool place for four years wouldn't be such a bad thing, right?

We finally get our turn and reach the first floor. After roaming around for about five minutes, we finally find the assigned professor. Tabitha does most of the talking, occasionally turning to me for the details regarding my course of interest and my gpa in high school. Just as my mother predicted, she is asking all the important questions and doubts, leaving no room for confusion. We aren't super close, but I respect the way she handles all such things,  and I am more than grateful that she is so willingly helping me out.

I try my best to focus on their conversation, but my stupid mind keeps drifting back to him. My hands are itching to take out my mobile and ask my friends about him, but I don't want to come off as uninterested in front of the professor, so I hold myself back.

After talking to two more professors and some students, we finally make it to our car and drive out of the campus. We are now going to the University of the Pacific, and I decide to make the use of ride time to go through the brochures we got from the university.

I decide to talk to Susan and Zaira at the end of the day. This way, I would not be able to think of him much and prioritize what actually needs my attention.

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