Everything We Always Were

Five: Creep

When Cole told me that I was "mandated" to be at the group hangouts with Veronica, RJ, his girlfriend, and Delia, I refused.

But, he kept pushing me until I caved.

After going to her house in the rain the other night, I have been avoiding her. I had crossed the line that I had promised myself I wouldn't cross.

It had been years, and it was eating away at me, not being with my best friend and not fully understanding why. But I love her, and she needs space, so I respect that. As long as she needs it.

Cole says this is a good chance to become closer to RJ, who is the other boyfriend. I didn't have any issues with him, personally, I had just never really spoken to him.

I know why Cole was so adamant about me becoming friends with him, considering the news I had gotten recently, and the fact that the other "friends" I had, no longer speak to me. I never really liked any of them anyway, all douchebags and assholes. I'm honestly glad they don't like me anymore, so I don't have to suffer through any more of their brain-dead conversations.

When we arrive at what Cole told me is the barn they always hang out at, I'm fully prepared for her to not be inside. But she is, and I notice her grow tense when she notices my arrival.

I originally wanted to sit near her and poke at any open moment to get her to talk to me. I'm not crossing the line, I'm just toeing at it.

Staring at my phone's home screen, I sit and strain my ears to hear what Delia and Veronica are talking about. I hear a few words that allude to it just being about school, so I lean back and survey the barn around me.

It's definitely a space created by teenagers. I will say, it's not too girly though, as I had expected.

After making my way onto the empty couch, I settle into the corner and pull my phone out to mindlessly scroll through social media until something of interest happens around me.

Eventually, something does.

They're ordering pizza. I don't get a chance to butt in and say that I want the same thing that Delia wants, but chose not to say anything about it and just eat the regular pepperoni.

The movie starts as the semi-strangers (and Delia) eat around me in this unfamiliar space. I can still hear the wind outside through the cracks in the wood, and I notice that one of the lights above me is flickering, ever so slightly.

A thump brings me back to reality and I look over, surprised, and see Delia.

"Can we talk?" The words are out of my mouth before I can even comprehend that I want to say them. I know that I do, but I regret the words as her expression turns cold instantly and she avoids eye contact.

"Maybe later,"

I gulp, but nod.

The movie filters through and ends, and I notice that at some point Francesca and RJ have disappeared. Looking back over at Delia for the hundredth time in the past few hours, my eyes linger as her hand reaches up and tugs one of her earbuds loose.

I jumped at the opportunity.

"Do you guys sleep here?"

"Sometimes," Her shoulders move up and back down quickly, and her body is angled away from me. I frown.

"On the couches?" She nods, her eyes trained across the room, "Better than my current situation, I guess,"

She visibly relaxes slightly and glances at me. "And what is that situation?"

My mouth dries. An opening. "Delia before we talk about that, can we talk about something else? Is there somewhere where we won't wake them up?"

"Another time, James," Her response is too quick, and I wince, sinking back down into the couch. "I'm tired."