Iris And Wings | A Yuzuru Hanyu Story

30 | Impulse

Yuzuru was sitting with his mother over a cup of tea. His father had said goodbye shortly before. Hidetoshi was meeting a friend, had just wanted to know how his son was doing today and had said goodbye when he heard that things were slightly better.

Yumi, on the other hand, had all the time in the world. She wanted to find out exactly how Yuzuru was actually doing and how things were going at home. She had asked again and again and had been told by Ayame that everything was going well. But Yuzuru himself had not been very forthcoming with information so far.

Now she questioned him in detail and was very satisfied with the descriptions he gave her about the new, well-structured daily routine. She felt reassured that she had made a good decision for her son when she hired the housekeeper.

He also told her about his visit to Toshiro-sensei and Yumi was delighted that Yuzuru was allowed to start training on the ice again from now on.

"It's about time you got back on the ice," she said with conviction. "I've had the feeling for a long time now that you don't want to. That you didn't love it anymore. Your desire for it seemed to have disappeared completely."

"Hm... yes... it was like that too", Yuzuru pondered. "I had the feeling that the ice had suddenly become my greatest enemy. Everything that tormented me had somehow emanated from or was connected to that damned, icy surface."

It was a drastic image.

"And now you feel differently?"
"Hmm, yeah, for a while now."
"Does she have something to do with it?"

"What?? Why?? What do you mean?!" Yuzuru felt caught out and waved his hands defensively. He wanted to keep Ayame out of it.

He didn't know why it upset him so much. The question wasn't really far-fetched, since she had turned everything upside down and was really good for him.

"Hm..." Yumi inspected her son's face very closely. She knew him, he could hide nothing, absolutely nothing from her, and his overreaction to her question was striking.

"Is there something going on between you?"

"Okāsan!!!" Yuzuru was indignant, perhaps also because he didn't know where he stood with Ayame at the moment.

He had wanted to approach her in a friendly way to make their life together in the house a little more pleasant and familiar. He felt comfortable in her company, and yes, he had enjoyed her closeness last night... now, after these events, it seemed to have become more complicated again.

He was completely unclear about his feelings. It was still too new.

"Invite her to practice on the ice. Take her to the rink."

Yumi didn't probe any further, but made that one impulse. She sensed that there was something Yuzuru couldn't talk to her about yet. She hoped that when her son was back on the ice, it would change something.

Even though he had just called it an enemy, the ice had always been his salvation.

No matter what had happened. On the ice, he always found his way back to himself in the end and things became clearer to him. It had been like that all these years, and Yumi hoped it would be like that again.

"Yes, you're right... a very good idea. I'd love for her to be there when I step onto the ice for the first time in a long time." Yuzuru was quiet again and smiled a little.
Yumi nodded in agreement.

***

Yuzuru walked the short distance back to his house. He had already called the administrator at the ice rink to see if he could get some ice time today. He was lucky: Moriuchi-san, the manager of the ice rink, was able to offer him a good two hours, albeit initially during regular opening hours.

"Hanyū-san," said the manager, "I'm delighted that you're back!"
"Thank you, Moriuchi-san, I'm also looking forward to starting training again. And please, don't worry about it. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that I can't be alone on the ice at first. I'm even happy about it!"

Even after his first Olympic gold medal, Yuzuru still occasionally skated with other people on public ice rinks, usually spontaneously. Once, after he had let sharpen his skates during a stay in Tokyo, he had gone to one of these rinks to check the sharpening right away. Many people had probably recognized him quickly, at the latest when he jumped a quadruple toeloop.

Within a very short time, the children who had been practising on the ice had been running after him like a little swarm, eager to show him what they had already learned. He had been touched and had enjoyed the attention. But that was long time ago...

"Well, Hanyū-san, I think the other skaters will be off the ice by 6 p.m. at the latest. So I'll see you here in the hall around 5 p.m.," the janitor ended the conversation.

Yuzuru was delighted. He was pleased that he had managed to get ice time so spontaneously. That wasn't always easy at a publicly accessible sports facility and was the main reason why he usually didn't train until very late in the evening.

It felt so good to be back on the ice soon and he wanted to tell Ayame about it as soon as possible.

When he arrived outside his house, he saw her standing at the window inside. Was she on a ladder? She looked taller... yes, indeed, she was standing on a stepladder and was taking down the curtains. Right, she was going to do the laundry, so the curtains too, he thought to himself.

She looked focused and beautiful, the movements of her still athletic body were controlled and efficient. She was working in her short cotton shorts and a tank top and he could tell she must be warm.

Japan's humid summer heat had reached its peak and he resolved to tell her that she was welcome to postpone strenuous work. Or at least turn on the air conditioning when he wasn't at home.

At that moment, she got off the stepladder and disappeared inside the house. She obviously hadn't seen him standing there.

Yuzuru took in the sight of her for a while longer. Only gradually did he realize how beautiful she was, no matter what she was doing.