The Summer That Changed Me

Chapter 18

I can tell my words hurt my Mom, because before I ran downstairs her mouth was wide open, in shock. She didn't know I could muster a sentence that would hit her as hard as that one did. On my way out the door, Dawson calls my name from the living room.

"Olivia!"

Much to even my own surprise, I stop to see what Dawson has to say.

"What?", I growl at him.

"Are you okay?"

I narrow my eyes at him, and he smirks in return.

"Fuck you, Dawson."

I run out the front door as fast as my feet can carry me, and the second they hit the sidewalk I know where I'm going to go. None other than Sandy's house obviously. Before you think I'm some crazy person that likes drama, let me tell you that I don't cry that often, but when I do, it's like Niagara Falls. It's not just the fact that my Mom called me a bitch that stung, it's the fact that she brought up my past and had to push about it when I clearly didn't want to talk about it. Ricky and I's relationship is something that I like to keep locked up and hidden in the back of my brain for no one to see or know about. That's a relationship that I regret and I haven't told anyone about except for my Mom. Not even Samantha knows, and she's my best friend. I think about everything that my Mom said to me and the fact that she brought up my Dad in conversation. I don't really talk about him much, but they've been divorced for 5 years, and he doesn't come to visit because he is remarried and my Mom doesn't want to meet his new wife, he refuses to come without her. Quite honestly, I don't blame him. I haven't talked to my Dad in awhile, but I think it's time that I call him up. I haven't thought about all these things in years, so when I arrive at Sandy's front door I'm on the verge of having a panic attack...which hasn't happened since my relationship with Ricky. I run through Sandy's front door and pound up the stairs to Cory's room. I don't even knock on his door, I just go right in. He looks up at me and when he sees that my face is drenched with tears, he jumps up from the bed, scoops me up bridal style, and sets me on his lap on the floor. He brushes a stray piece of hair out of my eyes, and I try to subdue some of my tears but I can't. They won't stop falling.

You're such a fucking bitch! Why'd I even date you in the first place? Oh yeah, to use you as my slut. Well slut, get ready cuz it might not be so pleasant this time.

I shudder at the memory of Ricky's words, and Cory must notice because he wraps his arms around me. This is what I need in my relationship, a guy that will just let me cry in his arms when I'm upset and doesn't push the issue until I'm comfortable. Cory puts his finger on my chin and tilts it up and tries to make eye contact with me, but I won't.

"I don't know what's wrong sweetheart, but I'm gonna be here for you. Okay?"

Still avoiding eye contact, I sniffle and nod my head up and down. Cory gently places me on the floor in front of him, and he straddles my back and starts to give me a back and shoulder massage. I try once again to calm my tears, but they won't go away. The memories and my Mom's yelling and screaming was just way too much. My breath starts to get choppy and shorter, and it's harder for me to breath. Now my cries aren't just soft whimpers, but they've erupted into gut wrenching sobs that I couldn't stop if I tried. I try one of the techniques my counselor taught me, deep breath in, hold it for 7 seconds, then exhale, but much to my avail, the technique doesn't work. I get up from Cory's grasp, run down the hall to the bathroom, and take a drink from the faucet.

After about 10 minutes, my breathing is back to normal and I walk back to Cory's room. He is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I'm still crying a little bit, but only a few sniffles here and there. Cory hears one of my sniffles and looks up to me. He opens his arms to me, and I sit on his lap and lean back a bit. I hear him sigh, hopefully a sigh of relief, and he hugs me around the waist. Not knowing how to start the conversation that is inevitably going to happen, I slide off Cory's lap and lay flat across the bed, hoping he'll join me. A few moments later, he does. He sighs and looks over to me.