MY CRUSH ❤️

Crying

So, um, everything was going alright today, and I was happy.

Watermelon talked to me a good amount, and we made me laugh a lot (like usual).

But in gym apparently this boy who is like a little brother to me, told Watermelon that someone liked him he guessed me first try and I was honestly scared.

I told him that it wasn't me. (Please tell me if I should or shouldn't have said that)

But then throughout the class I kept thinking abt how is he thought that I liked him, that we would have probably done something by now. But he didn't do anything.

I'm seriously crying rn as I'm typing this.

But I realized how I have loved him for so long and he probably has zero feelings for me.

Like I always thought that there was a 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance that he would like me

But it's actually 0%

I have liked/loved him for 4 freaking years and it was probably such a waste of time.

Like seriously, I love him so much and i' probably just some toy that he can play with my feelings.

It just sucks bc I'm so ugly u know and there is no actual reason why he should like me, but I've always had a tiny bit of hope.

I was not talking to anyone and I only talked to my friend after she kept asking if I was ok. I'm a terrible liar and I was literally crying a little bit.

I heart hurt seriously so so so much and it like broke.

I started crying after she asked and I told her why. She was comforting me, but I was still crying.

Watermelon kept asking me if I was ok and if I as mad at him, but I couldn't even look at his face.

Like it just hurt so much and now he thinks that I'm amd at him, but I'm not.

I'm mad at myself for ever thinking that I had a chance...