IPTYFM

CHAPTER XXXVll

After a longer kiss than usual, filled with sighs not heard before, he detached himself from me and firmly grasped my shoulders, looking me in the eye with determination.

“Rize, while I have no doubts about your love, loving me alone doesn’t solve the problem. Shaking doesn’t just mean temptation.”

“What do you mean?”

“Blackmail.”

“Blackmail?”

Johann explained. While it’s true that Major Felkner has never assaulted anyone here, that’s just a pretext.

“I looked into it, and although women have voluntarily slept with him, many were essentially prostitution.”

A few ration cards. Exemption from conscription. Some traded their bodies for these rewards, but others did so under irrefutable terms.

Their lives.

As soon as the command post settled here, it began rooting out deserters from the surrounding villages. Those caught were turned into prisoners, sent to the front lines as cannon fodder or to lay mine around the bunker.

Either way, it was a death warrant.

“But several avoided this fate. Those deserters all had rumors swirling around them that their sister, daughter had liaisons with the Major. Did those women really want to sleep with him?”

“Ah…”

If you give in, your family’s death sentence is waived.

“That man is a cunning devil. He creates situations where women, despite their reluctance, end up in his bed, then claim he never forced them.”

He doesn’t assault. It’s just a play on words.

Gripped by fear, Johann stressed.

“Rize, he’ll find a pretext to blackmail you, making you climb into his bed willingly.”

Unable to argue, I watched Johann resume packing.

“We must leave. Your safety is my utmost priority.”

Yet, the man who deems my safety paramount proposes we head to the most dangerous place.

“We should go back to our hometown.”

“Really?”

“We should have returned sooner… You wouldn’t have to suffer like this if I had thought it through.”

Johann, burying his face in one hand, sighed deeply and groaned.

“I must have been out of my mind for a moment.”

No, I think Johann has lost his mind now.

Our homeland has fallen into the hands of the Falklands, so there’s no returning.

Yet, Johann insists we must go back to enemy territory, risking our lives for my safety and comfort.

It doesn’t make sense.

‘This man, he’s not in his right mind now.’

It was up to me to stay rational.

“You’re suggesting we run into a minefield because you’re afraid of some bastard. Are you trying to get me killed?”

I stood my ground, refusing to follow Johann. I even went so far as to say I’d survive here on my own and if he wanted to die, he should go by himself. Johann had no choice but to relent.

“Take this.”

Soon after, Johann came up with another plan instead of running.

“Johann, this is…”

It was a revolver.

“How did you get this? We could have bought flour and firewood with the money it cost…”

“I didn’t buy it.”

“Does that mean we’ve had a gun all this time?”

Johann nodded. Apparently, we originally had two, but he sold one last year, leaving only this revolver.

“But I’ve never fired a gun…”

“Once you hold it, you’ll feel different.”

Johann was right. Had I known how to shoot before? As soon as I started practicing, my hand instinctively disengaged the safety and cocked the hammer.

Since bullets were scarce and hard to come by, I couldn’t practice live firing, just dry firing. Still, my body moved confidently, giving me a sense of assurance, though my mind didn’t remember any of it.

“To ensure it works when needed, you must regularly oil it…”

So, Johann explained how to use and care for the gun. It seemed he knew his way around firearms.

He had been conscripted and then discharged, after all. Naturally, he would know.

“Since you’re right-handed, always keep the gun in the right pocket of your coat or skirt.”

Johann demonstrated by sliding the gun into my skirt pocket with the handle up for easy access. He also showed me how to conceal its outline with a handkerchief or something similar from the outside.

“Imagine that door is him and take a shot.”

I drew the gun as quickly as I could, cocked the hammer, and pulled the trigger toward the door. I thought I had done well, but Johann looked somber.

“Isn’t this right?”

He said it wasn’t.

“Why do you need to draw the gun to shoot?”

“Excuse me?”

But isn’t that the usual way?

Johann then had me put the gun back in my pocket and instructed me not to draw it but to aim and shoot from within the pocket. He explained the reason for this approach.

“You might be overpowered in the time it takes to draw.”

“Ah…”

I’m not the fastest gun in the world. It takes time to pull the gun out of my pocket, and in that time, the opponent could realize I have a gun and attack to disarm me. They might even shoot me first.

Instead of killing, I could end up getting killed.

“So, like this? Bang!”

The skirt’s wide and spacious pocket allowed me to angle the gun and aim at the target without much trouble. Sure, it might put a hole in the skirt, but at least it wouldn’t put a hole in me.