𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐮𝐢𝐧 X Reader (Dark/Angst)

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 ✶ 𝟏𝟎

The night air is sharp, biting through the cracks of the window as you sit in front of your computer, your fingers resting idly on the keyboard. The glow of the screen reflects in your eyes, but your mind is far from whatever task you've pulled up to distract yourself. It's late, and the house is oppressively quiet, the kind of silence that presses in on you, that forces you to confront the thoughts you've been trying to avoid all day.

Ritsu.

His name flashes in your mind again, unbidden, and your chest tightens. Lately, it's all been spiraling—your carefully crafted control slipping through your fingers like sand. You've always been the one in control, the one who can manipulate any situation to your advantage, who can bend others to your will without them ever realizing. You've done it with countless people, made them orbit around you like satellites, feeding off their need for validation, for attention. But Ritsu... he's different. He's slipping out of your grasp, and it's making you feel something you're not used to feeling.

Fear.

You hate it. You hate that he has this effect on you. That despite everything you've done, despite how tightly you've wrapped him around your finger, there's still a part of him you can't control. He's fragile—too fragile—and it's like holding onto broken glass. You can try to grasp him tightly, but all that does is cut you deeper.

Your eyes drift to your phone sitting on the desk beside you, as if just looking at it will summon a message from him. Lately, every time your phone rings, it's him. Every time, it's another disaster, another crisis, another situation where he's teetering on the edge of something you can't quite predict. And you hate that. You hate that you're afraid of what's coming next. Afraid of what he'll do. Afraid of what you'll do.

The buzzing sound of your phone interrupts your thoughts, making you jolt. For a second, your heart skips, anxiety spiking through you as you scramble to grab it. The name on the screen confirms your suspicions.

Ritsu.

You sigh, steadying yourself. You already know this is going to be bad, but you force yourself to calm down before answering. You can't let him hear any of your hesitation. He needs to feel like you're in control, like you're the only thing holding him together.

"Hello?" you say, your voice smooth, steady. It's second nature by now.

"F/N..." His voice is broken, cracked, a sob trembling on his lips. The rest of his words dissolve into a garbled mess of crying, so frantic you can barely make out anything coherent.

"Ritsu." You inject just the right amount of concern into your tone, but not too much. You don't want to sound panicked. You need him to calm down. "Ritsu, honey, breathe. I can't understand you. You need to calm down for me, okay? What happened?"

His sobbing doesn't stop. If anything, it gets worse, like a dam that's been holding back too much for too long has finally burst. You can hear the hitch in his breath, the gasping sobs that leave him unable to speak. It's a sound you've grown too familiar with. Too used to.

You sit there, murmuring words of comfort, coaxing him down from his panic. It takes longer than usual this time, and you can feel the frustration creeping in. Why can't he just hold it together? Why does it always have to be you who fixes him?

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, his sobs start to slow. He's still hiccuping, but at least you can make out words again.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." he chokes out, his voice small, fragile, like a wounded animal.

"What for?" you ask, your tone gentle but firm. "Ritsu, what do you think you did?"

"I-I got a-another test back..." he starts, his voice cracking with every word. "It... it w-wasn't good. I d-didn't fail or anything, b-but—" He cuts himself off with a sharp sob. "It was worse than the last one... j-just below average. F/N, I'm so sorry..."