Everything We Always Were

Eighteen: Lies

"Dels, why didn't you tell me? This is absolutely unacceptable."

Roni found out. It didn't take long. All it took was her saying we should go swimming and prodding further when I said I didn't want to. It didn't help that I wore a hoodie when it was 70 degrees out.

I can't lie to Roni when she starts to catch on that there's something I'm keeping from her, so I told her. I told her that CJ bruised my neck and that it wasn't the first time.

Now we are holed up in the basement, and I had just spent the past 20 minutes crying.

"Delia, I'm so sorry, I should have known, it was so obvious." She sighs. "Well, you can't stay with him." She sighs, and I think she's disappointed in me which makes my heart hurt.

"I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't burden you with this. It's my burden."

"That just isn't true, Delia." She gives me a stern look. "Let me see the bruise."

I don't hesitate to pull the collar of my hoodie down to show her. Her face goes from upset to mortified, and I think I see tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Dels,"

"I know,"

"This has to stop. You need to break up with him."

"I can't, it's not possible."

"But it is. It's obvious that he doesn't love you. You don't do things like this to people that you love. Just text him and say it's over then block him on everything." She shrugs like it isn't a big deal.

"What about school?"

"I'll walk you to all of your classes. Or James will. And we have to tell Fran, of course. RJ and Cole can be your bodyguards in case CJ wants to act like a douche in public, but something tells me he won't."

"I can't do it, Roni."

"Why not?"

Looking down at my bitten-to-the-quick fingernails, I let out an awkward laugh. "I'm scared of him. I've tried before, and he never lets me break up with him it always ends in a fight where he says I'm the problem."

"But you're not the problem,"

"I probably am."

"Stop picking at your fingernails and stop being stupid. He's manipulating you, Dels. And we are getting you out of this. Fran will know what to do when she gets here tomorrow." Roni smiles, trying to reassure me.

Yeah, Fran will know what to do.

"Okay, I'm going to go get my makeup bag so we can cover that bruise and you can go swimming one more time before it gets too cold outside," She disappears up the stairs before I can answer, finally giving me the space I needed to actually breathe.

She's only gone a few minutes but I manage to spiral inside my own brain and when she returns, I'm hyperventilating, trying to scratch open my throat to get air.

"Can't breathe-"

"Calm down, calm down,"

"Can't-"

"Don't talk, just breathe. In, and out." She demonstrates which normally would probably annoy me, but instead, it actually helps. Finally, I can breathe again. "God, he really destroyed you,"

Her tone is sad, but not disappointed like I originally thought. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why on Earth would I be mad at you, Dels? It's not your fault."

"It feels like it is," She guides me off the floor and to the couch, setting her rather large makeup bag down on the cushion next to me and starts rummaging through it.