My skin is tight.
My heart is on its last breath.
I can feel my head pounding.
I can feel dread.
When will it stop?
My suffering I mean.
Will I remain in this tunnel forever?
"There's always a light, just keep going!" they say.
But my body is tired.
I can't seem to find the way.
This tunnel is cold.
And dark.
And scary.
My only escape feels miles away.
"Go to a doctor, they'll fix you right up!"
But what if I don't need fixing?
What if I just need to find me.
People are mean.
And cold
And heartless.
The doctor didn't fix me.
I never found the light.
The tunnel is comforting now.
Hiding me from all the scary stuff and people.
"I don't need help anymore"
"I don't need to leave"
But those are lies.
I tell myself these lies to keep me sane.
But really im still hoping for the "light".
Music doesn't help anymore.
It all sounds like mush in my brain.
I can't seem to bring myself together.
I'm a shattered star.
My pieces floating in space.
I don't like the tunnel.
I never did.
I miss my old life.
So simple.
So happy.
I can't get myself to trust almost anyone now.
My hair is gross.
And my gums would probably bleed if I flossed.
Taking care of myself is the last thing on my mind.
I've turned into a muddy puddle in the tunnel.
I don't care for anyone or anything.
I'm just... there.
