Between The Devil and a Good Man

Chapter Eight

"I never told you," Rose's voice filled the darkness of the room a short time later. It was a few hours until morning when they ascended to their bedrooms. Hettie had ordered them to bed shortly after their talk, knowing that they needed to talk with each other without having her there. Even though she was the voice of reason, they needed time away to talk as a couple and work through their issues. Rose had found comfort on the bed while Tommy sought comfort in the armchair; knowing that they needed distance in order to talk properly.

He watched by candlelight as she fought an internal battle, the flame barely flickered despite the cool air. It was steady and bright enough to relieve the darkness of the night, and cast thick shadows upon the wall.

"I try to not speak about it often," Rose continued. "But I know that it's something that is a part of me and will be for as long as I live. And my reactions to your words were honest and real. My father was not a good man, and he hurt a lot of people. He stole from good people, Tommy, and he killed a lot more good people because he wanted what he could never have. So, I've been there, and I've dealt with men like that before."

"I'm sorry," Tommy whispered, and he was: for everything, for the trouble he caused her and would cause her, just by her loving him. He was going to change, and he knew he had to so that he would be able to keep the best thing that happened to him. She was the light in the darkness of his heart, and she showed him that life was truly worth living.

"And so, it was my mother and I for a long time. Two peas in a pod," she continued, dismissing his apology. "She promised me she would never go back to him, that she would never bring him back to our home, so he could let us down again. And we were happy for a while. But they say that love is strong and toxic sometimes, and it was for them."

Rose fell silent then, struggling with the emotions she felt within her heart. Neglect, sadness, grief. They were a part of her and would be for as long as she lived, but she knew it would never ease no matter how many years passed her by nor how stronger she became. Her mother had been her only constant and she was gone; and her father was someone who couldn't be relied on.

"My mother took me to my aunts for the weekend," Rose spoke honestly and sincerely. "She gave me one last hug and kiss, and told me she would see me bright and early on Monday morning. And I believed her. But she was gone. My father's lies were too believable, and she believed every word that came out of his mouth. He drank heavily and would beat her, that's why we left in the first place. And I had told her he wouldn't change, and she knew that. But she loved him more than anything in this world and she died because of it."

Tommy bowed his head, and wrung his hands together. He wanted to close the gap between them both, take her in his arms and hold her until the sun came up. But he knew she needed to talk, and he understood that her opening up to him meant something.

"He promised her the world and she trusted him," Rose whispered, her voice breaking. "He promised to never drink again but the demons were too loud for him, and when my mother confronted him about it, he beat her senseless. He took her life because she realised the grass wasn't greener. I lost my mother because she hoped for a better life, and because she loved a man who wasn't a good man."

"I'm not him, Rose..." Tommy spoke then. "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise."

"I know you wouldn't," she whispered. "But the fear is always there. If it could happen to my mother, it could happen to me."

"No," Tommy felt his heart break into a million pieces at the smallness of her voice, the fear that overwhelmed her in unspoken moments. He stood and closed the gap between them. "I will always love and protect you, Rose. Nothing and no-one is going to hurt you."

Tommy's promises were heard and though she wanted to believe them, Rose couldn't stop the fear from clouding her heart once more.

..

Tommy and his family remained in London for the next couple of days. While his family was busy gallivanting around the city, he and Rose took some time to speak honestly about the doubts and fears they both had; and they knew their issues wouldn't be sorted through on that one evening. Tommy allowed himself to open up and tell Rose everything about him that she hadn't known yet, and Rose listened to every word he said, every tear he shed, and reassured him with a supportive smile when his voice would waver.

He was strong man, but when it came to Rose, he knew he was able to become vulnerable and show his battle wounds to the world. She allowed him to be himself, and to feel the pain he often buried deep down in himself. He never allowed himself to cry over his worries, or his past, but Rose would comfort him nonetheless. She loved him, and if she didn't she wouldn't still be sat in the room with him. And he knew that.

Tommy had something to fight for now. He had someone who relied on him and who loved him more than he could ever love anyone else; and though it was a bitter pill to swallow, he realised that he was worthy of love.

And Rose was the woman who loved him, and for that, he was fortunate to have a constant who was prepared to stand beside him for the rest of his life.

In those remaining days in London before his return to Small Heath, they spoke about their wedding in short, excited bursts of conversation. They knew they wanted to enjoy their engagement for a while, and to tell their loved ones together in their own time, but when the excitement reached its limit in their hearts, the urge to marry straight away was high.

But they knew they needed to wait. Good things came to those who wait. And so, the plan was for them to take his family out for lunch that day, and to tell his family of their engagement. Rose was nervous, but Tommy was quick to reassure her.

They spent time with Hettie, who was their voice of reason, the woman who had seen it and done it all and who lived to tell of her adventures. They took her out for dinner in celebration for many reasons: their engagement, her help and support over the last few months, for helping Rose when she needed someone. They would forever be grateful of Hettie for talking to them that evening, for being the voice of reason and for making them see that their love was stronger than that little hiccup they faced. And they knew they would face a lot in their journey together, but they would face them together no matter what.

As they dressed for their dinner with the Shelby's, a little tap on the door sounded. Tommy was the closest and reached for the door, opening it to reveal Hettie who stood their holding a decorative box with a ribbon wrapped around it. Her face and eyes lit up at the sight of Rose, who seemed to radiate elegance and love.

"You look lovely," Hettie whispered, a lump forming in her throat.

"Thank you," Rose replied, smiling at the older woman. "It isn't too much?"

"Not at all," Hettie smiled, taking in the soft blushed pink dress that adorned the young woman's body. "I have something for you."

She stepped closer to Rose and handed the box to her. Rose took the gift and with careful fingers, untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. She gasped as her eyes stared at the delicateness of the necklace that laid inside the box.

"Hettie... you shouldn't have," Rose whispered, tenderly touching the three small diamonds that adorned the necklace. "It's beautiful!"

"Well, I'm not going to be around that much longer to wear it," Hettie replied with a laugh. "My mother gave me this necklace on the morning of my wedding, and my grandmother gave my mother it on the morning of her wedding. I never had a daughter to give this too, but I consider you my daughter. And I want you to feel beautiful on your wedding, just like I did many moons ago."

Tears fell from Rose's eyes as she closed the gap between them. She wrapped her arms around the frail woman who held her tightly.

"Thank you," Rose whispered close to her, and Hettie nodded against her.

"Now, no more tears, darling," Hettie smiled, pulling away from the hug. Hettie had listened to Rose when she opened up about her family; how her mother's death affected her and had made her strive to becoming a nurse. She wanted to help as much as possible, and in ways that seemed impossible. The sheer determination of the young woman was enough to inspire Hettie to change her life, and it was wonderful watching the young shy woman transition into a woman full of confidence.

Though she didn't have her mother by her side nor would she have her there on her wedding day, she had Hettie and that meant so much to her.

Hettie left them to it, and as soon as she was gone and could be heard pottering around in the kitchen below them, Tommy held Rose as she sobbed softly.