Dreams of the Past

An Evening Alone

Chapter Eleven

An Evening Alone

After three months in the past, the loneliness and longing seemed to come and go in waves. Most days Sakura was fine. She had tasks to fill her time, family to enjoy in her evenings, and the beginnings of new friendships. Minato had come around for dinner twice more, bringing his girlfriend, Uzumaki Kushina. She liked Naruto's mother immensely. Her fiery spirit reminded Sakura so much of her son. She thought, if given the chance, they could be friends.

Sakura had also made it a point to join Sakumo for his evening meditation if he was home. It helped her organize her thoughts and emotions, and she always slept better after. The fact that it was definitely getting under Kakashi's skin was an interesting development. He had reacted like she'd broken something in his brain when she'd all but said she touched herself to thoughts of his father—a lie that had nearly killed her to utter outloud and had come straight from his stupid books. She felt a little smug despite the embarrassment until it became clear he was taking her comments about his appearance seriously. He continued to neglect to cut his hair and did in fact have to start tying it back at work. When she bought herself elastic headbands, he started borrowing them to keep the hair out of his face—most often the neon pink.

It was kind of cute, actually

(The yukata he bought himself to wear around the house like Sakumo was decidedly not cute. She had a slew of other adjectives for that recurring scene.)

But even with the new family and her relationship with Kakashi, the meditating and the playful teasing, some days, she was far from 'fine.' The haunting quiet of the Hatake property when she was there alone would become oppressive. The strangeness of the village twenty-five years removed from her old reality, all the people she did not recognize in the streets would become too much. On those days, she would summon Katsuyu just to talk, or take a nap with Pakkun. Most often, she would loiter in the Academy yard and chase memories.

She was sitting in Naruto's swing again. Her heels dug into the dirt as she pushed herself slowly back and forth. For no reason in particular, Sakura had felt especially lonely that day. Even the earnest flirtation of the cute fruit vendor did little to lift her spirits. That was why she had gone to the Academy so early. It wasn't the same—it would never be. The pain of longing for a time rather than the place felt especially heavy there. She was apparently a glutton for punishment because she frequently came early. It was easier to remember her friends in a place they'd spent so much time that still looked the same.

She missed Ino. Her friend-turned rival-turned best friend would probably think her situation with Kakashi was hilarious. The blonde would no doubt have cackled madly and praised her for the lewd suggestion about Sakumo. Hinata would blush, and remind her that letting him think she was attracted to his father was probably not the best way to get him to fall in love with her. Sakura would laugh, and stammer that she was sure he knew she was only teasing—not that she was trying to make him love her or anything. Then they would go for sake and something fried and fattening.

What would Naruto be doing if he was the one she was stuck with? She definitely didn't think she would be able to pretend to be his wife. Living so close to Kakashi wasn't so bad, but Naruto would drive her insane. She did miss him, though. More than almost anyone else, actually. Stupid, cheerful blonde idiot.

"Yo."

She snorted when she glanced up at him. His hair was sweaty and sticking up behind the pink headband at odd angles. There was sawdust stuck to his left temple and a smudge of wood stain on his forearm. "You look ridiculous." She stood up and hooked a finger around the pink headband, slipping it off his head and laughing again when the hair hardly moved. He didn't push her hands away when she combed through it, shaking it loose and wiping away the sawdust. "There. That's better."