If You Devour Poison / Doku wo Kurawaba Sara Made

Chapter 45: Initiation (NSFW)

Behind his ear. Below his chin. In the hollow of his collarbone.
Lutora dripped kisses along on the delicate parts of Malacia’s body, savoring every moment his moist yet warm lips made contact.
His sniffling hadn’t stopped, but even so, Lutora ran his hands and tongue along Malacia’s entire body.

"Malacia..."

Lutora teased Malacia with his kisses, pausing on occasion to call out his name. They exchanged a deep kiss, and even after they parted, a transparent thread, swaying in midair, connected them.
Malacia didn’t resist the passionate actions, but his thoughts were in disarray, a storm of chaos running through his mind.
Whenever Lutora’s lips brushed along his skin, whenever he whispered Malacia’s name right beside his ear, whenever his fingers brushed along Malacia’s skin with just a little more strength than normal, every time—
Malacia’s heart throbbed deep in his chest, tormenting him as it played out an unfamiliar melody.
In the past, there had been those who were gentle with Malacia. After seeing the permanent scarring on his body, their pity had driven them to do their utmost in pleasuring him.
But Malacia simply didn’t understand. He didn’t understand pleasure.
After faking orgasms for so long as he was fucked by a constant stream of men, his body had lost all sense of passion. He’d never even experienced an ejaculation.
And yet, despite this, there were many men who would still cling to Malacia with all their might. They would all claim that they would be the first to make him feel, and after exhausting themselves in a futile effort after doing all they could, they would all be delighted when Malacia finally faked it for them.
They were nothing but foolish creatures, though he kept such thoughts hidden. Instead, he’d scam money from anyone who released inside him.

“Lutora, wait, Lutora. The truth is… I can’t feel anything. That’s why, what you’re doing now… it’s all pointless,” Malacia admitted.

He wasn’t going to decipher these confusing feelings swirling about in his heart.
After hearing Malacia’s confession, Lutora, still straddling Malacia as he devoted himself to foreplay, paused and looked down.

"Is that true?"

Malacia gave a small nod in response to Lutora’s broken voice.
But, contrary to Malacia’s expectation, when Lutora saw his answer, the knight’s expression loosened and he leaned down, pressing their damp foreheads against one another.

“I see, then the only one who will feel good today is me,” he lamented with a weak laugh. “I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, but… I love you, Malacia.”
"Ah..."
"What's wrong?"

What was that? It almost felt like something was pressing down on his chest, a throbbing inside him.
Lutora’s words and actions had elicited feelings Malacia had never felt before. Feelings none of the countless men who had defiled Malacia up till now had been able to give him.

“Y-you aren’t going to promise to make me ‘feel it’ or something?” Malacia stuttered.
“Why would I?” Lutora asked.
“Why? Isn’t that--?”
“You didn’t lie when you said that before, right?” Lutora asked. “Then how can I make such a claim? If I try despite what you told me, won’t I just be making this harder on you? Even I’m aware of that much.”

Malacia didn’t know what to say in reply to that.

“My darling Malacia, even though it must have been frightening to admit, thank you for sharing this with me and not hiding it.”
“...Uu..uhn. Ah… I—”

What in the world was this man saying?
Malacia’s nape turned a deep scarlet from Lutora’s confessions, and he averted his eyes, biting his lips.
The palm tracing a circle around Malacia’s heart wound its way down his abdomen, and eventually to his most secret place. The wound inflicted on him long ago had grown over, the scar tissue swelling up to look almost like a vulva just below the bulge of his mons pubis. The vulgar men in Malacia’s past had all enjoyed toying with it, but after brushing his finger against the scarring, Lutora lost interest and moved on.
Lutora’s focus caught instead on Malacia’s vertical anal slit, the opening modestly closed at the base of the legs Malacia had spread. With a dry mouth, Lutora moistened his fingers and began to relax Malacia’s asshole, inserting his finger inside. The warm folds waiting within enveloped his finger in a tight embrace.