The Soundtrack of My Childhood: Growing Up with One Direction

Story of My Life

By Kristine Orbon

It's funny how a single band can define your entire childhood. For me, it all started in the summer of 2013. I was 10 years old and incoming 5th grade. I'll never forget how it happened - it was at my aunt's house, and I was spending time with my two cousins. We were cramped in a bunk bed in a small room together, and all they could talk about was One Direction.

They were obsessed, and I felt... completely out of place. Until that day, I hadn't even heard of One Direction. But with every name they dropped, every song lyric they recited, something stirred inside me.

The poster on the wall? Yeah, they made me memorize each member's name and face like it was some sort of initiation. They had CDs, and the music was always playing in the background. By the time the day was over, I knew the names: Harry, Liam, Louis, Niall, and Zayn. And soon, I couldn't get them out of my head.

I remember lying in bed that night with curiosity buzzing in my veins. As soon as I got the chance, I searched for them on YouTube. The music, their personalities, it was like opening a door to a new world, and I was completely swept off my feet. Suddenly, I was a Directioner, just like that.

When school started, I couldn't keep it to myself. Every conversation with my classmates was filled with squeals and wide-eyed admiration for the band that had stolen my heart.

I even dove into Wattpad fanfictions, imagining myself as the lucky girl who somehow crossed paths with the most famous boyband in the world. The stories where the girl wasn't a fan at first but somehow stole the heart of one or two of the boys. That was my favorite. It was my fantasy.

One day, I walked into a store and there it was, a Total Girl magazine with One Direction on the cover. It was like the universe knew exactly what I needed. It was ₱99, and I was determined to get it.

My allowance at the time was only ₱10 a day, so I decided to save up. No snacks for me. Instead, I visited the store day after day, hoping, praying that no one else would buy that magazine before I could. After what felt like forever, I had enough savings. I asked my dad to take me to the store, and when I saw it still sitting there on the rack, untouched, I almost couldn't believe my luck. I snatched it up like it was the last treasure on earth.

That magazine was my first real purchase. I was so proud. And as if fate was smiling down on me, it came with a One Direction poster. I taped it to my bedroom wall, right beside my bed, and stared at it every night before I went to sleep. It was the beginning of an adoration that wouldn't fade anytime soon.

By the time I hit 6th grade, I was introduced to The Vamps and 5 Seconds of Summer, and my classmates and I would argue endlessly about which band was better. Obviously, I defended One Direction with everything I had.

I also became hooked on the YouTube animated series The Adventurous Adventures of One Direction. I watched it religiously, along with their music videos, concerts, performances, guest appearances, documentaries, and anything else I could find.

Then came 7th grade, and my obsession hit a whole new level. I printed out their song lyrics and, with my friends, we'd sing them at the top of our lungs during class breaks. Christmas that year was special too. On my wishlist, the only thing I wanted was a One Direction T-shirt. When I got it, I wore it all the time.

Soon after, the announcement came. One Direction was going on an indefinite hiatus. My heart shattered. I listened to their songs on repeat and cried.

My biggest regret to this day is that I never got to attend one of their concerts, never got to see them perform live and complete. That's when I promised myself as a kid that when I became an adult and earned my own money, I would spend it on a One Direction concert.

Over the years, I've continued supporting their solo careers, holding onto the hope that one day they'll come back together. Whenever I feel nostalgic, I play their music, thinking back to the little girl who fell in love with them, especially her ultimate bias-Harry Styles.

Now, here I am, in my 4th year of college, and recently, I've seen all these posts about Liam Payne. They were talking about his struggles and how he had become someone unrecognizable from the Liam I remembered. It was hard to process.

He used to be the "dad" of the group, the responsible one-the one who was afraid of spoons, for crying out loud. And then, the news hit. Liam had passed away. I was surprised, yet in a way, I expected it given his recent controversies and ongoing struggles with his mental health.

I didn't know how to feel. Part of me couldn't accept it. I didn't support who he had become, but I still wished he had found the help and peace he needed. It breaks my heart to know he was battling mental health issues and addiction, and I can only pray that he's finally at peace, far away from the harshness of this world. It's just sad to think that the reunion we all dreamed of might happen at Liam's funeral.

It's strange, isn't it? How much a band can mean to you. One Direction wasn't just a band-they were my band. They were my escape, my joy, my childhood. And even though life has moved on, I'll always carry them with me, remembering those days when everything was simple, and they were my entire world.

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P.S.

-I decided to write this because the 10-year-old me is crying. It hurts so much. I didn't expect that I would be crying over him, especially since he was an abuser and did bad things. But I was reminded that you can grieve for someone even if you no longer support them. At the end of the day, he was a big part of my childhood, and I admired a different version of him.

-If you're struggling with mental health, know that you're not alone. It's okay to seek help, talk to someone, or just take a moment for yourself. Your feelings are valid, and there is support out there for you.