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October 16, 2016

At Eighteen..

Today is a milestone...

Finally, I'm eighteen..

“Oh my Gosh, Ibby!” halos lumuwa ang mga mata ni Olive pagkapasok niya sa suite room ng Okada na pagdadausan ng debut ko.

“Ito ba ang Michael Cinco dress?” halos hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya. She was a sucker for dresses and everything nice.

“Yep. The one and only,” sabi ko saka tumayo para tingnan ang sarili ko sa full-size na salamin. Napadilat ako nang muling maramdaman kung gaano kabigat ang royal blue na damit. It was off-shoulder and has a nice fit on my body then it flares like a balloon from the waist down. Ang akala ko ay lalamunin ako ng damit pagkabihis ko. It literally took me half an hour to get on this dress.

“I swear it weighs more than my weight,” sabi ko saka mas lumapit pa sa salamin.

Tumawa siya at winave-off ako. “Siyempre. It hurts to be beautiful, you know.” Nakakibit balikat niyang sabi saka pinanood ang kanyang sarili sa salamin. She looked ravishing in her sweetheart neckline tutu dress. Kung siya ang nakasuot ng damit ko ay tiyak mas bagay sa kanya.

Lahat ng coutilion members ko ay may pare-parehong cut ng dresses from the waist down. Nagkakaiba lang sila sa design ng top half. They were all wearing peach while I wear blue. It was the only thing I had contributed during the whole preparation. And the rest was handled by my mom – who never failed to go all out everyday on my birthday. If that was the basis of being the best mom, she’d received the award.

A few years ago I already told my mom I didn’t want anymore grand birthdays. I no longer feel happy celebrating it with people who didn't really matter to me but she never listens. Kailan ba siya nakinig sa akin?

Naipilig ko ang ulo. I thought something pain-like would stab my chest. Gladly there wasn't. I stared at how I look. I didn't wear make-ups. The only beauty product that ever touched my face was my lip tint. But right now my face glimmered with the works of Antonette Cruz - the most sought after HMUA in the metro.

“How much did your dress cost? Everyone is raving about this dress. Sabi ni Kelly, ginaya lang daw ng mommy mo ang dress niya. Like, duhh? Everyone knows na gawa lang ng pipitsuging designer ang damit niya.”

I heard she mumbled something else but I just continued to stare at my reflection. I was supposed to be happy, right? Bonggang party, and all. My party every year had always been a party goal.

“So, do you think Hugh will show up? What did you think about my hair? Ipa-up do ko kaya?” muling sabi ni Olive nang hindi ako magsalita.

Marami pa siyang sinabi pero hindi na ako nagpay-attention. My sight passed through the mirror like I was looking straight ahead. Everytime she says something, nagdi-drift away ako. At hindi ko alam kung bakit natatagalan niya ang makasama ako. Funny, we have been friends for over five years now like she claimed but I don’t really remember anything that we shared. When I looked at her I still think I don’t know her. What’s her favorite color? Does she snore when she sleep? Why are we even friends? How did we become friends?

“Ibs? Ano ba? Kinakausap kita.” Untag niya sa akin.

“Hmm?” sabi ko lang saka lumapit sa jewelry box saka isinuot ang alahas ko.

Itinirik niya ang mga mata na sinubukan niyang itago sa akin pero nakita ko pa rin mula sa salamin. Hindi ako nagtaka. She had always been that way since the beginning of our friendship. She talks behind my back. She glares at me when I don’t look.  She takes things in my room without my permission. But I didn’t care. I didn’t even confront her. Why? Because I was afraid to be alone. I'd rather tolerate her than entertain the thoughts I kept pushing at the back of my head.

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