The Second Bloom • 18+

11. Stillness (Malini's POV)

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-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

He didn't return back that night.

And the night after.

And the following three nights.

It actually feels like an eternity, the kind that stretches out endlessly, with no end in sight.

The house is quiet without him.

Too quiet.

Every creak of the door, every gust of wind that pushes through the windows, reminds me that he's not here. He hasn't been here for five nights and four days. Maybe it's just the chill in the air, or maybe it's the absence of his presence that makes the house feel colder than it really is.

Each morning, I wake up with a tightness in my chest, my body heavy and unwilling.

I sit up, alone in the bed that still smells faintly of him, and try to gather the strength to move. But when I glance on the other side of bed, it's empty, like my heart.

I miss him.

I miss the way he would shift in his sleep or the way he would mumble something incoherent before waking up. It wasn't much, but it was something. And now, it's nothing.

Just quiet.

Stillness.

I move through the motions of the day, but I feel like I'm not really living in it.

I'm stuck somewhere in between. Somewhere between hope and heartbreak.

I force myself to get out of bed, to go about the tasks that are expected of me as a daughter-in-law, as a wife—if I can still call myself that.

I dress myself, drape my saree around my body, and tie my hair back, even though my hands tremble as I do so. It's hard to care about how I look when I feel like I'm falling apart inside.

The kitchen is where I spend most of my time, partly because it's expected of me, and partly because it's the only place where I can keep my hands busy enough to forget, even if just for a little while.

My mother-in-law is there sometimes, hovering, asking questions I don't have the energy to answer. I force a smile when she mentions Varun, nodding along as if everything is fine. I've told her he is out for some business related work.

She doesn't know.

She doesn't know that he hasn't come back to me, and left because of me.

She doesn't know that I don't have his child growing up in my womb, unlike what she thinks.

That he hasn't spoken a word to me since he left.

The silence between us is unbearable.

I wipe away the stray tears that fall, frustrated with myself for crying yet again.

I'm tired of feeling this way—helpless, lonely, and lost. I want to be strong, but how can I be when the man I've begun to care for, the man I'm starting to love probably, has abandoned me?

I think of all the things I could have said to him, should have said to him. If only I had explained things better. If only I could have found the right words to make him stay. But he was angry, confused, and I know that nothing I said would have changed that. Still, the guilt gnaws at me, and I wonder if I will ever be able to fix the mess that has become our lives.

The door of our room opened.

I started sitting up guessing it would be my mother-in-law, probably coming inside to ask me whether Varun will return back this night or not.