I Need You

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Beyoncé POV

Another day at home. With my daughter, Blue. Sometimes I wish I could escape this nightmare but I just have to learn to accept it. My baby walks into the room.

"Mommy?" Blue calls out. "Yes baby?" I say wondering what she wants. "Where's daddy?"
I couldn't even answer her because I don't know.

He's always gone coming home smelling like god knows what. Blue loves her dad. But at the same time she doesn't. I wish she didn't see the things she does and hear them but I'm helpless.

"I don't know sweetheart. How about you...." As soon as I was going to tell her to call him, Shawn walks in the house with a woman.

A beautiful woman. I find myself looking at her then looking away as Blue just stares at her. Blues bold and she can do whatever she wants because Shawn loves her more than anything. Even me.

"Daddy who is she?" She asked him.

"Nobody baby. Go upstairs." He says and Blue shakes her head.

"Who is she?" She asked him again. I just sat there on the couch also wondering who this woman was."She's my friend baby." Blue looks at her then me and she can tell I want her to leave.

"Daddy she needs to go." I giggle to myself she really has him wrapped around her finger because he really made her leave. But now it's just me and him. Blue went upstairs. Now I stuck here with him.

"Go upstairs and go to that room and don't come out." I'm weak. I know I should stand up for myself but I can't. I go upstairs and on my way he slaps my butt. Like always. It's not even enjoyable anymore, it just hurts. I decide to go to Blues room. I'm sure she will let me sleep on her bed unlike my own husband.

I go inside her room to see her on her phone, so I just come in and lay on her bed. She smiles and massages my scalp. She's really my everything. I love her more than anything in the world.

I still wanna know why that woman was here? Who is she? Is he cheating on me with her? Is she who he's giving all his love and affection to? Then I think about what my mama always told me "Your power comes from your voice. Never let anyone take your voice away from you." I remember like it was yesterday.

I should stand up for myself but I'm scared. I don't want anymore bruises but Beyoncé you know how to fight. Fight back but I'm scared. Why?

Why I'm I scared? Of him? Of him? He's not scary but he is. No he's not. He's just a man who knows how to hit hard. He can't fight.Can he? Maybe not...What if I try and do something?

If I do anything I could get kicked out. I have no where to go. I have no job. I can't leave the house. I have money. Lots of it. I been storing it, in Blue's room. Every time Shawn gives Blue allowance she gives it to me and that's $2000 dollars a week.

So I have a lot right now. I could take Blue and leave. I could tell Kelly to come pick me up. Or I could just try and make our relationship work. I could win him over. Right?

I go downstairs to see Shawn in the kitchen talking to that same woman from earlier. I walk up to them and the woman looks at me. She looks me up and down. I and I just stand there until I try to think of a lie. Something for me to leave the house. Oh! Got it!

"Shawn?" I say. "Yes?" He turns around. "Blue needs new bras...." He cuts me off by giving me $100 and saying. "Go ahead." I smile and walk upstairs to tell Blue to pack a bag and I do as well. If you knew what happened you would understand why I'm leaving.

Basically he's crazy.

I can't go out.

I can't do anything but take Blue to school and get her the things she needs with his money. He cheats on me in our bed.