Eye of the Needle: Into the Reikai

Avery VI: Lahat Chereb

The approach of the Spirit of Conquest was met with much fanfare from the spirits inhabiting Ananzi's hotel. Even the worse-for-wear Kami of Idols came to thank him for his actions, but Avery insisted he didn't deserve praise for any of it.

He'd been high in the moment during his ascension, fueled by urges given to him by those who had backed him. Even though Avery knew it was necessary, his human side couldn't help but feel bad for what he'd done. Parties were going on outside and all he could do was sit in his room and stare at the ceiling, thinking about all he'd done.

Xanthe had been sure to explain it all to Avery, the folly of man. He'd been given visions throughout his entire life, pointed in the right way down this path. Was it wrong for him to feel bad about the feet he'd stepped on in the path to a 'right' world?

Avery brought his knees to his chest as he sat in the center of his bed, lost in thought as he stared at the darkness between his legs. His mind wandered, aimlessly. Thoughts became convoluted, almost sounding insane and indecipherable. But that was how most of his thoughts were. This constant rush of ideas and emotions that crept up in such a jagged wavelength everything looked smooth on the surface. How could his face match the sensation of wanting to slay all of his enemies in some righteous crusading fantasy to wishing he had someone to hold him in the bed. Even then, he would refuse their touch. It reminded him too harshly, the rough hands and the sharp nails that had taken away the idea of personal space and privacy from him.

The hedgehog's dilemma. He'd heard about it first through an anime and then a psychology class. Avery hated that an anime's plot point could describe him, but it wasn't a piece of his personality he could cut off and be rid of like the rest. Now he'd gone and done it though, the only way someone would ever want to touch him that gently was if he lied to them about who he was and what he'd done. Avery's fate was that of a martyr, and now he could only reminisce about the things he'd only fantasized about. Maybe under different circumstances, he'd have been the shy geek boy or something.

Then again, he'd been that way around DeMain initially, Ethel too. But it wasn't the same. When he put on the poor face of a lost dog not knowing any better, people folded like card towers in a breeze. There was some sick satisfaction in knowing how easy it was to just... lie. It was strangely easy to steamroll through someone's personal barriers and judgements if you knew what face they liked best. He had no face of his own though, that had probably rotted away a long time ago.

Anyone else looking at his life might accuse Xanthe of forcing him into it, of taking away what he had initially. Avery hated the idea that if someone were to examine everything that happened, he'd just be labeled as some cultist if he failed. What was he supposed to have done? Xanthe provided a way out and a life much better than the ones his mother's clients had. Was he not supposed to escape that? Was he just destined to be some fuckpuppet that'd hang themselves by 14?

It put him in a sour mood to think of the people who might even take his mother's side, or say that she didn't deserve what happened to her. He'd been dreaming of the day she died for years and when she finally did her memorial service was that of old clients wishing her farewell, even as the reporters dug into his story like gnats to fruit. Biting away at every word and eating at the nectar of his crocodile tears. He was never sad during the interviews, he just wished they'd shut up and leave him alone. Avery could smell on their tongues that they didn't care about him in particular anyway, they just wanted their cut of funds from the headline. Why not save us both time? Just admit it.

Avery sat back on the bed, gripping his pillows close. What he could have done to those people now was everything he'd ever wished for. To use the hooks of his tails to prolapse their soul from their body. They all wanted to ask the same question anyway.