Most everyone grows up watching either movies or family and friends lovingly. The definition of love is for sure in some way, if not entirely different for everyone. As a child, to you, love might seem defined as receiving candy, toys, or anything of a materialistic form. There really is nothing abnormal or wrong with that; I mean, you are just a child, and of course, those things would bring you joy and happiness, which would make you associate love with receiving gifts, candy, or whatever. I also believe that some, if not more, children don't get to experience any of these things that others do. For those who had a rough upbringing, things are completely different. To us, the visualization of love just isn't there, or maybe it is, but we don't recognize it. Now, the older we get, the clearer things become. Most will eventually find their definition of love, but if not shown at a young age, it's harder to be able to present and recognize love. I also believe that being brought up in a rough childhood, just like everything else, has its pros and cons. As I grew older, I obviously started to see things differently and more clearly. you can say that a young age I started my search for the thing called love, with no idea of what to look for. every bit of attentuion I could get was enough for me. as you can imagine as I got into my teens this caused a lot more issues. now being in my teens and seeing what I have I thought I was starting to figure out what I wanted from life. ofcourse I was searching in all the wrong places but at the time for me it was enough. I was constantly getting into trouble in school just because I wanted the attention it got me. Love is a word that I dont think anyone can 100% define although I believe that most people like to think that they could define love. if you look in the dictionary the definition of Love is " an intense feeling of deep affection", or in the bible it says "love is a way of relating to others and serving their needs, and is a defining quality of gods relationship with humanity". now look at both definitions and just think abnout how similar they may be, but at the same time look at how different they are. look at what u believe love means and now I want you to think about this right here, John 3:16 provides a profound insight into God's love and presents it as unconditional and sacrificial. unlike human love today which comes with conditions and limitations. so how can we be so sure that we r doing, seeing, and defining love correctly well there is no ciorrecrt answer, or at least that is what I believe. is love grandma making you cookies and not letting anyone else have any? or could it be what u think you have with you're first boyfriend or girlfriend? do u know trhe answer?you might be saying you know the answer but again who truly knows. to say u know the true meaning of love is a far fetched crazy statement. people spend lifetimes searching for the true definition of Love, I believe that about 80% of people don't even come close to being close. you can sit and listen to an elderly couple who has been together 60+ years and say wow that's true love, but is it? older generations experienced different difficulties than we do today. were they able to figure it out? some will probably say yes, but nobody truly knows. for me I've been in a few relationships growing up ansd I believe that every girl I was with heard the words I love you come from me, but how can I say that if I don't truly know the meaning. the phrase I love you is thrown around like its nothing.searching for yhears and many failed attemopts just made things worse for me. every failed attempt would bring me back to square one, wondering what happened and what went wrong. now eventually finding another person who I thought could help me on my search we eventually had ourt daughter Athena Jane Ember Jones. but once again things just didn't work. I was once again left with nothing to understand love or even closer, I was back to square one. I was honestly growing tired of trying and started to give up. the next three years were filled with me just tgrying to survive and do whatever. I joined the carnival and started traveling. I was starting to grow bored and lonely, so what did I do, I tried again. this time I had heard of an app on youre phone so I decided why not, I downloaded it. a month goes by and nothing, still traveling with the carnival and now in Florida. I would come across a few profiles and swipe on them just hoping for a response. one day I was swiping and came across a profile with the name navy. I froze and was immideatly drawn in by her beautiful eyes and flower tattoo on the side of her head near her ear. she was absolutely drop dead beautiful and I'd ssay way out of my league. but " a closed mouth don't get fed" so I decided to message her. to be honest I was thinking it was just gonna be another waisted attempt. to my surprise I received a reply so we chatted and I told her what my job was and that I would be in her area. she showed signs of intreg and we eventually decided to meet. so one night after the fair closed she was brought by one of her friends. we went to a pool hall, from the moment I laid eyes on her I had a overwhelming feeling of nervousness and excitement. it was by far the most amazing night of my life. after a few games of pool we eventually made our way to the beach as we walked on the sand and the moon was shining bright with the waves crashing in, I grabbed her hand pulled her in and kissed her. the immediate rusgh that took over my body was something I believe people dream of experienceing. it was the begging of the rest of my life, I was simply shell shocked. I couldnt believe wghat has just happened let alone how absolutely beautiful she was. this would be the start to great things and I was so excited to see what the future had instore for me.but every good story has to have an ending. I finally met such a beautiful person we were having so much fun I didn't want it to stop. we spent so much time together even if I was in my game she would hangout and watch and give me looks that gave me butterflies. it was time tim to leave and all I could think was how I let this beautiful woman slip away. so I texted her and I didn't get a reply. days go by still no response and I'm kicking myself in the ass. I let her slip away and there wasn't anything I could do avbout it. then one day I received a text from her that said she was in the hospital. I immideatly figured out a way to get to her and went to visit her.i went there andsat with her all day just talking and holding her hand, just trying to comfort he. she eventually told me why she was there and that she had pancreatitis, drinking at the pool hall caused a flare up. the day was coming to the time when I had to leave and gob to work. I squeezed her hand placed my hand on her cheek and sasid don't worry baby everything is ok now I'm here. I leaned in to kiss her and she looked at me and said thank you and she kissed me, and so I left. I knew that I had to do something to show her how serious I was and that we were meant to be together.knowing she was still in the hospital I went online and ordered her roses and had them delivered to her room.i made sure to have them hand delivered. I spent what seemed like forever searching for the right ones. I also spenty so much time searching for my forever person that thwere was no way I was gonna let this one get away. the carnival eventually had to leave so I left and we talked everyday 24/7. I eventually told her to come on the road with me and tho she seemed to ignore the fact she never said no.
