𝐁𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐬𝐞

𝟏𝟐 || 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲

I stared blankly at the cream colored ceiling as the silence in my bedroom enveloped me.

My mind embodied a whirlwind. Filled with thoughts and feelings, I don't have the faintest idea of how to handle everything around me.

Every anxiety, every doubt and every fear washed over me as if I was standing under a waterfall.

The cream-colored ceiling blurred and the silence flushed over me. I hated feeling like this; empty.

Zaid's face flashed before my eyes.

His chiseled features and piercing eyes, that always seemed to know what I felt and how I felt.

Every conversation I had with him felt liberating, and lit a fire within every part of me. I hate every bit of it, but a part of me strongly disagreed with that.

What did he want from me?

My gaze drifted to the diamond on my finger, it sparkle muted by the dim lighting.

A symbol of commitment, yet it felt like a weight, it anchors me to a future I'm forced to have.

The silence in the room, spread around me and felt like a heavy blanket which suffocated me.

The engagement party was pushed back to next month, due to the abrupt failure in numbers at the company and I couldn't be more thankful.

A sigh escaped my lips. I hated feeling this helpless and alone.

Zaid has already come back from his business trip of three days and I haven't seen him once in these past few days that he's been back.

Lilian said that he had been coming home late and leaving early in the morning, desperate to find out the cause behind the failure in their numbers.

My thoughts swirled, torn between resentment and curiosity. Zaid's very existence was like a thorn in my foot.

Not only does he irritate me, but he ignites a flame within me, a flame I hate to admit but is lovely when it burns.

I sat up, my movements mechanical, and swung my legs over the side of the bed. The soft carpet beneath my feet offered a little comfort.

And as I stood, my gaze fell upon the mirror attached to my dresser. I approached it and studied my reflection.

The person staring back looked lost, trapped and I didn't recognize myself anymore.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, shattering the stillness and I was brought back to the present.

I hesitated before walking over to my nightstand and answering after reading the caller ID. Kaius.

"Hello?" I asked, uncertain.

Kaius never calls me unless it's something urgent and I have a feeling that this call is something of the sort.

"Courtney, it's Kaius" his deep voice filled the line and I rolled my eyes, aware of the fact that he couldn't see me.

"Have you heard from Lucas lately?" Immediately my thoughts shifted to Lucas.

His carefree smile and infectious laughter filled my mind like a distant memory and my brows creased.

"No, I haven't. Why?" Concern washed over my chest and tied a knot "What's going on, Kaius?"

There was a short pause from Kaius's side and I felt my blood heat.

"I haven't been able to reach him for a while and his phone is going directly to voicemail"

The unease in my chest tightened and my spine stiffened.