I'm with the band

06

After successfully rehearsing all our songs, and not taking ridiculously long breaks for doing the bare minimum, we're sitting in a circle on the basement floor.

Talking about the upcoming tour, putting our next album out, whenever that will be.
Just thinking about the future in general.

I yawn, setting my head back on the couch in back of me.

"Looks like someone's tired." Harry teases, sitting next to me and patting my knee gently.

"Are we really that boring to you, Lizzy?" Niall jokes as I roll my eyes and the rest of the guys laugh.

"As if." I say, scoffing.
"It's just been a long day."

"Yeah, I mean, we actually rehearsed today." Liam says, making a joke about the groups horrible habits of procrastination.

I nod, letting out another yawn.

"Lizzy, all jokes aside, you can go to sleep." Zayn says, laughing.
"We're just teasing."

"Yeah?" I ask, feeling a little bad that I'm gonna end up going to bed before all of them.

Normally it's the opposite, I like making sure the guys are sleeping before me.
I always get even more work done at night.
And also they're all extremely cranky if they don't get their nine hours of sleep.

"Yeah, otherwise we might have to end up carrying you upstairs." Niall chuckles as I do too.

"Fine, fine." I say, getting up.
"Goodnight boys."

"Goodnight Lizzy." Liam, Niall, Zayn and Louis say in unison.

"Goodnight, Sleeping Beauty." Harry teases, looking up at me as I scruff his hair and leave.

I shake my head, laughing at the boys' witty little jokes.
They kill me.

I make my way to my room, and curiously look to see if Simon's here and if he's watching me.

It was relatively quiet upstairs, so he either went to bed already, unless he had a meeting to attend.

To discuss the matter of..
Well, you know.

I make my way to my room and change into my pyjamas, trying my hardest not to think of the whole situation again.

It's funny, because when I was with the boys, I had no worries.
We were talking and laughing, and I just instantly forgot any sort of problem I had.

But when I'm left alone with my own thoughts, it's a completely different story.

I change into my baby pink tank top and matching sweatpants that had little cupcakes on the back pockets.

Once I'm finished getting ready for bed, I slide under my covers.
I twist and turn, twist and turn.

I couldn't sleep with nothing.
And it's not like I could hear the boys from downstairs, but it seemed as though my own thoughts were louder.

I couldn't sleep knowing that there was still no solution to this problem Harry and I caused.
I needed an answer from Simon as to what he was gonna do to reassure me.
But obviously, something that won't involve me being separated from him, or any of the boys.

Sometimes when I couldn't sleep, I liked to listen to really mellow music on my phone.
That always gets me drowsy.

I reach for my phone on my night table, but it wasn't there.
"Weird." I thought.
"Maybe I forgot it downstairs?"

I walk out of my room and begin to make my way back downstairs, when I notice that the boys' voices got quieter.

I walk quietly down the steps to see and hear them better.
I peer from the railing, while still remaining somewhat hidden.

"How could you not end up telling her?" I hear Louis whisper shouting.

Tell who?
And tell them what?

Does this count as eavesdropping?
Eh, what they don't know can't hurt them.

"I tried, multiple times!" Harry whisper shouts, as I listen more attentively.
"But you saw what happened."

What did Harry try?

"Excuses, excuses." Niall says, holding his arms.

Harry shakes his head.
"I don't think it's excuses, Niall."
"I just think it's not meant to be at this point."

"Harry, you have to man up and do this, you don't have forever." Liam says.
"Trust me mate, you'll regret it if you don't."

What does Harry wanna do!?
I'm sure he could achieve whatever it was.
It was Harry for crying out loud!

"Yeah, and you can't give up now, surely you've made some kind of progress." Zayn adds.

"Yeah right, have you seen the way she-" Harry stops talking, and I notice I put more pressure on one of the wooden steps by mistake, making him and the other guys turn around.

My palm hits my mouth in embarrassment.

Crap.

"Hey guys." I say, trying to play it off, and acting like I didn't hear anything, coming down all the steps.

"Hey, look who's up." Niall says loudly, chuckling.
"Nice PJ's, Pinkalicious."

"Shut up." I say, searching for my phone.

"Why aren't you sleeping? We thought you were really tired." Harry says, concerned.

"Yeah, I can't sleep." I explain.
"That's the reason I came down here."

"And what, you came down here so we could go and check for monsters in your closet? Or..?" Niall jokes, as the rest of the guys laugh.

"Very funny." I say, rolling my eyes.
"I think I forgot my phone down here, and I came to get it to play mellow music while I sleep."

"Oh yeah." Zayn says, picking it up.
"It's right here." He says, handing it to me.

"Thanks, Zayn." I chirp.
"Alright, I'm gonna go to bed, for real now." I joke, as the guys say their "good nights" to me one last time.

Even though I was casual with them, I couldn't help but wonder..
What on earth were they talking about?
And why do they feel the need to keep it from me?

We're all close friends, I get that I'm the only girl and they want their "guy talk", but I give good advice too.

I would also like to be acknowledged.

But most importantly,
Who was this "her" persona the boys spoke about?

Other than me, Harry knows a lot of different girls.
Maybe he has a crush on one of them?

But I'm surprised of all people, he wouldn't tell me.
Like what does he think, I'll get jealous or something?

Me, jealous?
Thinking of that made me scoff.

Knowing my past, it's not at all likely that I'll get jealous.

Regardless, he knows he could feel the need to tell me anything he wants, so why not just say what's on his mind?

I shake my head.
I'm making myself crazy for nothing, and either way, I couldn't make assumptions because it wasn't really clear.

I get into my bed again and play my gentle music that kept me calm.

And soon enough, I fell into a long peaceful sleep.