From Her Perspective (BWWM)

XXV

William Devereaux

Seven years ago

     I sighed, closing my laptop before placing it on the coffee table.
     "Are you finished? Do I finally get my boyfriend all to myself?" Ella said as she rushed to me, sitting on my lap. I smirked before kissing her cheek.
     It's been a month since we finally got together and I still haven't gotten used to being called her boyfriend. She introduced me as such to her friends and I don't think I have ever felt more exhilarated than I did in that moment. I knew from the moment I saw her that I wanted her and now, here she is in my arms.
     "I want to go out," she said as she wrapped her arms around me.
     "To where?"
     "Anywhere. We never leave the apartment unless it's for class or work. I wanna do something with you.  I wanna hold your hand in a museum or sit across from you in a restaurant. Whatever you want to do,"
     "We can do anything you want, Ella. I don't care where we go. I just want to be with you,"
     "What if I wanted us to eat dinner in a museum?"
     "Then I'll rent it out just for us. I'll hire a chef to make your favorite meal and have your favorite singer perform just for you," I said. She smirked and shook her head.
    "You know I don't need all that, Billy,"
     "That isn't even anything close to what you deserve and what I plan to give you. I'm all in, Ella. That's kinda scary to say so soon, but you deserve nothing less than perfection and I'm going to do everything I can to give you that,"
     "No one's ever cared for me the way you do. I don't know how to accept it, but I do know that I've never been this happy. You're everything I didn't know I needed," she said before pulling me in for a kiss.
   
Present

     I stared at the little boy sleeping peacefully in his crib.
My boy.
I looked around his nursery. I could tell Ella did a lot of the work herself. The room was meant to feel like a forest. The walls were shades of green. There were hand-painted leaves, vines, and trees. His room was filled with stuffed animals and the ceiling was painted as the night sky.
I picked up a monkey-stuffed animal from the top of the bookshelf. He was wearing a shirt that had Theo's name on it.
"I almost named him Forrest. I always liked that name. My brother talked me out of it at the hospital," Ella said as she peeked into the crib.
"He doesn't like me," I said, making her frown.
"Theo? Theo likes everyone,"
"I'm talking about Jamison,"
     "He just doesn't know you yet. He's very protective of me and all he knows of you is the fact that we got a divorce,"
     "You kept my name," I finally said. It's been driving me nuts since Elias mentioned it.
"I did. I was busy and I didn't have time to do the paperwork to change my name back," she spoke. She avoided my eyes as she crossed her arms.
"Too busy? Is that the answer you're going with?"
"What are you implying, Billy?"
"Going back to Bradford would've been as easy as signing a piece of paper," I said turning to her.
"Why does it matter if I changed my name?"
"You moved to Norway to get away from me yet you keep my last name,"
"I didn't move here to get away from you. Jamie and I needed a fresh start. I had just signed divorce papers. There was no reason for me to stay in New York,"
     "Your family is in New York. I was in New York. You didn't even care to say goodbye,"
     "We weren't together. I owed nothing to you,"
     "So, I'm just nothing to you now?"
     "You're my son's father," she said blankly. She looked down at Theo before glancing back at me.
     "We should let him rest," she said as she headed towards the door. "Your room is across the hall," she pointed at the door in front of her. She tried to walk away until I grabbed her and pressed her against my bedroom door.
     "Billy!" she gasped as she looked up at me with dark eyes.
     "Tell me the truth," I demanded as I bent down to the crook of her neck as my hands found the curve of her hips.
     "I don't know what you want me to say,"
     "Tell me you don't think about me. Tell me you want me to finally move on. Tell me you hate my touch," I whispered in her ear. She fought a moan as my hands slid lower.
     "Billy, please,"
     "I can't believe you thought I was 'free of you'. I'll never be free of you. You're everywhere and you're still not close enough. I can barely form a complete thought without thinking about these eyes. This mouth," I paused to caress her bottom lip. "Your scent," I rub my nose along her neck to inhale her decadent scent of vanilla and shea. "The way you feel against me. The way you infuriate me, while also enrapturing me. The sound of your laugh. The way you fit perfectly in my arms. You were fucking made for me and you pretend that we're not a match. If we're not, then I was meant to be alone," I placed small kisses on her neck and jaw, itching closer to her full lips.
     "Billy, we need to stop," she groaned, yet she pulled me closer to her.
     "I love you, Auriella. I love you so fucking much and I'm not letting you go this time. This time, I'm fighting," I said before picking her up and opening the door. I didn't even take time to examine the room before I closed the door and threw her on the bed. She wasted no time shimmying out of her dress while I unbuttoned my suit jacket.
"I'm scared," she whispered as I leaned down to kiss her. I immediately paused.
"What are you scared of?"
"I don't want to get hurt, Billy. We tried this before an—"
"I was a boy. I am never going to hurt you again, Ella. I am in love with you. I can't lose you again. I want to be with you and raise our boy together. I want my family,"
"I love you too,"