The Story of My Life

49

Was it worth a try..?
Was it worth the wait...
To feel so alone, without anyone else around..
I wondered how does it feel to be left in those wander-less thoughts again.

There are those *must have* moments
For when it felt like..
I was left out in the cold
Trapped in a freezer....
With no one else there but me.
Just me, alone in time..
Without anyone's presences.

I wasn't worth anyone's attention.
I wasn't anyone's anybody's like...buddy to buddy... back on back

I was just... being there...
With no one left beside me.
Minding my own business with myself
But... that was the past
When I used to be dark and sour.

It's normal to feel like a burden
When you're mentally drained..
Feeling like you have nothing left.

Just like being trapped inside a fish tank
Staring out the tank watching people talk and hanging out together
How I know..
What it feels like to be empty inside...

A shadowless being with an empty, cold box.
A loveless, lifeless soul living in a system that isn't made for normality.
A different way of living..
One that doesn't fit with what the world expects.

But now.... my life has turned around.
Things can be better.
I feel like I can do whatever I want...
Like.... having my own free will again.
What I.. truly never have
It felt different for trying something new for a change..

For.. what..?...

It feels good to have that change..
To finally switch things around.
I like this difference...
Where I can try new things to break down the walls...

But..
It's also important to stay true to myself.
I don't want to ruin everything.

Being a hazard about everything..
It's just not it..
Not everything has to be a harzard

Until... things have changed..
It felt like a miracle.
A miracle for my heart, like opening a box filled with candy
Each piece representing every single of moment...
I've thought about my life...
The sweetness of what I deserve.

Don't you think it's worth it?
To choose and decide what you want
Instead of always being stuck in between?
It's like being free when you have nothing holding you down.

I'm lucky for what has life given me
I'm also still trying to figure things out
And... there's nothing wrong with receiving such a gift.
I deserve to have it.
You don't get things you want right away—You have to earn them...
Just like how.. you earn respect.
Not with delivery but with a earn of gold

Staying true to myself...
Without going into meltdown mode
It's important....

It's easy to lose yourself when things don't go the way you want in your way, but..
I've learned that...
I've learned how life can be unfair

It doesn't just hand you balloons, cupcakes, and flowers.
Not every day is a celebration with cupcakes.

That's just how the rule book works.
You've got to understand the rules if you want to make sense of the world.

I've witnessed so many things happening around me
Things.. I never expected to see.
Maybe I'm still new...
New to all of it.
Everything feels different.
It's like a new task everyday

Now, with everything that's changed
My life has found a new direction.
It's become extraordinary, even unusual.
It's unfamiliar how things can be so unlike anything I've known before.

But that's just how life works.
It keeps moving forward
And... in the end..
Everything has a destination.
There's a south and a north to every path.

Each point is a direction.
Wherever you turn
You'll find your exact place.
The places you choose
It chooses you
Where you are..

The corners where you have turned
It'll come to you when the time is set to go.
That's how or where....
How things.. can be done...