Baby of the Family

Chapter 23 : Frustrated

Chapter 23

Later...   

Riker POV

It was time for me to play 2 songs. I sat in the living room and Rydel stood a few feet away from me, livestreaming on her phone.

I started with Loud. My fingers were a bit shaky and I was nervous. And then suddenly my mind went blank and I forgot the words.

My heart was racing and I was breathing kind of quickly. I was trying to remember the words but the more I tried to remember, the more I just couldn't think straight.

I was determined to try to keep going. I looked up at Ryland, who was standing next to Rydel. He mouthed the words to me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying.

I looked down at my fingers, hoping maybe looking at the chord I was playing would somehow help, but it didn't.

I started crying, feeling humiliated. How can I forget my own song!?

Rydel put her phone down and hugged me.

"It's ok, Riker. You still did really well," she said.

"Yeah, but I messed up in front of all those people! And maybe even dad! What if he's mad at me!?"

"He doesn't know about it," Rydel said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because I wasn't really livestreaming. I was just recording. That way if you had a panic attack, it wouldn't be live. But if you did well, we could post it. Nobody saw, Riker."

"Really?"

"Really."

I instantly felt relieved.

"Please don't tell dad," I said.

"I won't. But I'm proud of you for trying anyway," Rydel said.

"If I'm too scared to go on stage and I can't get through a song when I try to force myself to, I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I cried.

"Just wait until dad gets here. Maybe he'll have some more ideas. I really think you should just try to relax, Riker."

"Ok..."

Rocky came back inside and laughed at me because I was crying.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"Sometimes you're just such a baby, Riker," he said, going upstairs.

"I think I want to go sit outside for a little while. Alone," I said, getting up.

"Riker, are you sure you want to be alone? You seem upset," Rydel said.

"I'm sure. Please just let me have some time to collect my thoughts."

I went outside on the porch. It was a little bit cold out but I also don't care. I kind of don't care about anything anymore.

Later...

Riker POV

"Riker, dinner," Rocky said, coming outside.

"Ok," I mumbled, not looking up at him.

He walked over to me and then just stood there.

"Are you coming?" He asked.

"I'm not hungry."

"Doesn't matter. Rydel wants you in there for dinner."

The door opened and Ryland came out.

"Are you guys coming?" He asked.

"Riker doesn't want to go inside," Rocky said.

"Riker, come on. What's the problem?" Ryland asked.

"The problem is I'm treated like a baby! And I'm scared of things and made fun of for it! And now I'm anxious about doing things that I love and I don't know how to fix that! And I wasn't even supposed to be born in the first place!"

Everyone was silent.

"I'm going for a walk," I said, going down the stairs.

"Riker, it's time for dinner!" Rocky yelled.

"Eat without me!"

Rydel POV

Rocky and Ry came in without Riker.

"Riker's going on a walk," Rocky said, annoyed.

"In the dark!? You just let him go!?" I yelled.

"Rydel, he's being difficult!" Rocky yelled back.

I left the cabin and found Riker halfway down our driveway.

"Riker, you need to come inside and have dinner."

"I'm not coming."

I grabbed his arm, making him stop walking.

"I'm not coming, Rydel!" He said, trying to pull his arm out of my grip.

"Yes, you are," I said, pulling him.

Riker tried pulling his arm back again, but I wouldn't let him.

"Let go," he whined.

"No. You're coming back to the cabin or I'm calling dad."

I got a better grip on his arm and pulled him harder.

"Ow! You're pressing on my cuts!" He said, starting to cry.

I let go of his arm and gently wrapped my arms around him, hugging him.

"Riker, you can't just run away because you're mad at Rocky."

"I'm tired of everyone treating me like a baby! And I'm tired of being anxious! I can't do anything I love anymore!"

"We can work on that, but not if you run away from the cabin."

I waited for him to calm down again and then he was willing to walk back to the cabin. But he went straight upstairs to the loft. So I decided to just let him be for now.

"Why is he like mental now?" Rocky asked.

"Because he's anxious," I said, sitting down with them at the table for dinner.

"But why? Why all of a sudden is he anxious of everything?" Ryland asked.

"I don't know. But he's frustrated about it, so don't make it any harder for him."