WHEN LOVE FAILS

Jeng's POV: The First Heartbreak

Echoes of an Ex

Standing in front of the mirror, I examined my reflection, recalling the memories of the past few weeks. Manuel Santiago is my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak.

With each conversation and laugh with Manuel, I felt pure joy. But now, it was as if everything had vanished in an instant.

My heart was heavy with a pain and sadness I never anticipated feeling.

I knew things would be tough from the moment we decided to end our relationship. But no matter what I did, I couldn't shake the ache his words left behind.

"Jeng, gusto kita pero hindi ko alam kung mahal na ba talaga kita... dahil ang alam ko masaya ako kapag kasama kita pero hindi pa ako tapos sa ex ko--"

Every word felt like a stab to my heart.

I kept returning to memories of our times together—the way he smiled, our laughter as we explored the city, and our deep conversations about things we couldn't share with others. It hurt to think that all of it now felt like a beautiful dream that, out of nowhere, had slipped away.

But above all, the pain of accepting that he wasn't fully mine weighed the heaviest. There were moments I'd think back to when he poured his heart into memories of his ex.

Every time he mentioned Marco, I could feel pieces of my heart breaking. I knew I couldn't blame him; he, too, was in the process of healing.

But to me, it felt like an endless search for an answer to a question that had no solution.

I stood at the corner of our favorite restaurant, unsure whether to step inside or leave. We had spent so much time there, and his memory lingered in every corner.

It was frustrating to think of how I would react if he were there with me, but I knew that was no longer possible.

I asked myself what my next steps would be. "How could I rise again from this pain?" 

But despite everything, I knew I had to confront my feelings.

"Kailangan kong maging matatag"

I whispered to myself. I couldn't avoid the pain, but amid it all, I realized this was my chance to learn the value of love and of sacrifice.

As the days passed, I gradually learned to embrace the pain. I began writing in my journal, pouring all my emotions onto its pages.

It became my way of processing everything. I came to understand that I wasn't alone; every heart has its own story of love and pain.

As the memories continued to resurface, I learned to accept my first heartbreak.

It was a lesson I would never forget that true love doesn't always come with certainty, and sometimes, we have to let go of the people we love to give them the space to pursue their own journeys.

In the end, I learned that every tears, every ache, was part of my own journey. It wasn't easy, but I knew that all of it was for my growth.

As I reflected on my heartbreak, I understood that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Allowing myself to feel pain opened my heart to deeper connections in the future. Each heartbreak serves as a reminder that love, in its truest form, is both a risk and a reward.

I know I wasn't ready to begin again, but the world is not ending, carrying the lessons of this heartache as the foundation for the next steps in my life and in love. I realized that every ending leads to a new beginning, and I have the power to shape my own story, filled with with hope and strength.