The last three months

The weight of change

!⚠️TW⚠️!:This chapter alludes to an eating disorder and issues with body confidence. If this is something you are struggling with or that might trigger you please do not read this chapter and put yourself first.

The bathroom was quiet, almost stifling, as Agatha found herself staring into the mirror, her fingers tracing over the unfamiliar curves of her changing body. The silence around her felt too loud, amplifying the sound of her unsteady breathing, her racing thoughts. She tried to focus on the gentle light casting shadows over her face, but her gaze kept drifting down, fixating on the changes that had come uninvited.

She ran her fingers along her stomach, her touch lingering on the soft, silvery stretch marks winding across her skin. They were new and unfamiliar, a map of this unexpected journey, and each line seemed to carve away a piece of the person she once was. She wanted to see them as beautiful, but each glance felt like a reminder of a self she was losing, a body that no longer felt like hers.

The whispers of doubt crept into her mind, louder with each passing second, a relentless buzz that made her stomach twist with guilt and shame. She felt like she was slipping further from herself, her identity buried beneath the weight of these changes. The ache grew sharper, coiling inside her chest, and before she knew it, she had turned toward the toilet, her body acting on autopilot. The feeling of release was immediate, but the regret hit her just as quickly, settling like lead in her stomach.

Suddenly, she heard the familiar sound of footsteps approaching, and her heart raced. She quickly tried to compose herself, wiping her mouth and turning away from the mirror, hoping to hide the evidence of her moment of weakness. But as Rio entered, Agatha could see her eyes narrow with concern. It was too late—Rio had seen everything.

Rio stepped forward, her expression softened but unmistakably pained. She crossed the space between them in a few quiet steps, reaching out to gently cup Agatha's face, her thumb brushing a lingering tear from her cheek. Agatha felt the shame return tenfold, and she tried to pull away, but Rio's gentle hold kept her grounded.

"Agatha," Rio whispered, her voice thick with compassion and understanding. "Did you... did you make yourself sick?" There was no judgment in her tone, just an aching concern.

Agatha felt her throat tighten as she nodded, the weight of the admission settling heavily on her shoulders. "I... I couldn't stand it, Rio. This body—it doesn't feel like mine. It's like I'm disappearing, piece by piece, and I just... I didn't know what else to do." Her voice cracked, a flood of emotions pouring out as she tried to hide her face in her hands.

Rio's arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, and Agatha could feel the warmth of her embrace, a gentle reminder that she was not alone. Rio's presence was steady and unyielding, an anchor in the storm of her thoughts. Slowly, Agatha let herself relax, leaning into Rio, feeling her partner's heartbeat against her cheek.

After a long silence, Rio spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Agatha, I know this is so, so hard. I know these changes are terrifying, but this isn't who you are. You're not disappearing—you're becoming something incredible. You're creating our family, and that strength? That's a beauty nothing can take from you." She pulled back slightly, meeting Agatha's gaze, her eyes filled with a fierce, unwavering love. "I'm here with you, every step of the way. You don't have to fight this alone."

Agatha felt her chest tighten as a fresh wave of tears escaped, and Rio gently wiped them away, her touch a balm to the ache within her. "I'm so sorry," Agatha whispered, the guilt still heavy in her heart. "I didn't want to worry you."

Rio shook her head softly, placing a gentle kiss on Agatha's forehead. "I'd rather know what you're feeling than have you carry this alone," she murmured. "You're allowed to feel scared, even lost. Just... don't try to face it by yourself. Let me be here for you."

As the evening wore on, the two of them settled into bed together, the quiet darkness wrapping around them. Rio held Agatha close, her hand resting protectively over Agatha's stomach as she offered silent reassurance. Agatha focused on the steady rhythm of Rio's breathing, letting it calm the lingering turmoil in her heart. With Rio beside her, she felt a glimmer of peace, a small but vital comfort in the knowledge that she was not alone in this journey.

For the first time in weeks, she felt a bit of the weight lift from her chest. Wrapped in Rio's embrace, Agatha drifted into a fitful but comforting sleep, feeling held, in every way that mattered.