𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 (𝟐) || HARRY POTTER LOVE STORY

14

Half an hour later, Lockhart began collecting the quiz papers, rifling through them with the sort of self-satisfied smile that made Julie want to roll her eyes clean out of her head.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac," he chided, holding up one parchment as if it had personally insulted him. "I say so in Year with a Yeti, of course. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully. I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples though," he added with a wink, "I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!"

Ron, sitting just to Julie's left, was staring at Lockhart with the kind of disbelief usually reserved for spotting Blast-Ended Skrewts in the bathtub. In front of them, Seamus and Dean were silently shaking with laughter.

"Can you believe this guy?" Julie muttered to Harry, leaning toward him over the table.

"Honestly? He thinks he's the best thing to ever happen to magic," Harry whispered back, wearing a smirk that mirrored hers. "I mean, who writes an entire book series about how brilliant they are?"

Julie grinned, unable to help it. "If he could, he'd probably take out a full-page ad in the Daily Prophet just to remind everyone how amazing he is."

"Maybe he already does," Harry said, eyebrows raised, clearly enjoying the game.

She snorted. "Just think, Harry - maybe you'll be the next Lockhart. Only, you know... slightly less... ridiculous."

He shot her a mock glare, but the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. "Guess I better start working on my award-winning smile."

"Oh, you've already got the hair for it," Julie teased, reaching over to ruffle his perpetually messy mop. Before Harry could retaliate, Lockhart's voice rose again this time, with Hermione's name.

"...but Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions - good girl!" Lockhart flipped over her paper with an exaggerated flourish. "Full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Hermione raised her hand, trembling slightly but beaming with pride.

"Excellent!" Lockhart declared. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And now, to business..."

Julie watched as he ducked behind his desk and heaved a large, covered cage onto it. That immediately got her attention. She leaned forward, peeking around Harry's pile of books.

"Now be warned!" Lockhart announced theatrically. "It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind. You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this very room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

Dean and Seamus had stopped laughing. Neville looked as though he might faint. Julie narrowed her eyes at the cage as Lockhart placed a hand on the draped cloth.

"I must ask you not to scream," he said solemnly. "It might provoke them."

The room held its breath as Lockhart whipped away the cover.

"Yes!" he declared. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies!"

Julie couldn't help herself - she let out a snort of laughter that echoed off the walls.

Lockhart's smile didn't falter. "Yes, Julie?"

She choked down more giggles, exchanging a look with Seamus. "Pixies aren't dangerous," she managed, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Don't be so sure!" Lockhart wagged a finger at her in mock warning. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"

The pixies, electric blue and about eight inches tall, began jabbering and darting around the cage like caffeinated hummingbirds. Their pointed faces twisted into mischief as they yanked on the bars and made obscene gestures at the class.

"Right then," Lockhart said grandly. "Let's see what you make of them!"

He flung open the cage and all hell broke loose.

The pixies exploded into the room like bottle rockets. Two of them grabbed Neville by the ears and hauled him into the air. Others shot through the windows, sending shards of glass raining onto the floor. The rest tore around the classroom, shredding parchment, upending ink bottles, and yanking bags straight out the windows. Desks were overturned, books were ripped apart, and students ducked for cover as the chaos escalated.

Julie ducked just in time to avoid a flying ink bottle, swearing under her breath as a pixie tried to tangle itself in her hair. Lockhart, meanwhile, rolled up his sleeves with a confident grin.

"Come on now, round them up, round them up! They're only pixies!" he called, waving his wand dramatically. "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

Julie slapped her forehead with her palm. The spell had absolutely no effect. One pixie zipped over, yanked the wand clean out of Lockhart's hand, and tossed it gleefully out the window.

Lockhart let out a strangled noise and promptly dived under his desk, narrowly avoiding Neville as the chandelier gave way and he came crashing down.

"JULIE! Look out!" Harry shouted, grabbing her wrist and yanking her toward him just as a pixie dove past her shoulder.

The bell rang, and the class erupted into a mad dash for the door. In the moment of relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, looking miraculously unscathed. He spotted the four of them nearly out the door.

"Well! I'll ask you four to just nip the rest of them back into their cage," he said cheerfully, and with an infuriating swish of his cloak, swept out and slammed the door behind him.

Ron looked like he might explode. "Can you believe him?" he shouted, swatting at a pixie still buzzing near his ear. "It bit me!"

"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience," Hermione said, even as she calmly froze two pixies midair with a Freezing Charm and stuffed them back into the cage.

"Hands-on?" Harry repeated, lunging for a pixie taunting him from atop a shelf. "Mione, he didn't have a clue what he was doing!"

"I'm with them," Julie said, flicking her wand to levitate a battered book back onto a desk. "That was less 'lesson' and more 'indoor hurricane.'"

Hermione huffed. "Rubbish. You've read his books, look at all those amazing things he's done-"

"Says he's done," Ron muttered darkly.