𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐲 [𝐉𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐮𝐬]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏

R. A. B.

1979

She folded the paper carefully and put it back in its exact place. Altough she was looking for something completely different, she found only this one letter instead. She was not filled with anger, disappointment, or any other bitter feelings. The letter carried a meaning, and she was pleased to find it, but she knew that the message was not meant to finder and also not for the recipient. R. A. B left his final thoughts to someone else. He was more than this letter. It carried more meaning, hoping that his last will would reach its destination. I hope you have found peace now, she thought to himself.

„I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more."

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My gaze was fixed on my brother. Every breath I took became harder and harder. For a moment I thought it was because of the wand pressed to my throat, which my father held tightly under my raised chin, but of course it wasn't because of that. This was so typical. I was only fooling myself. My eyes filled with tears. I only broke it because of my weak character, not because of the wand. That explained the growing lump in my throat. My only brother is being tortured by our own mother in front of my eyes, and yet I was the one whose tears dropped one by one to the floor.  But he... he felt nothing. He endured every scratch our mother inflicted on his skin with clenched teeth. Oh Sirius, you can't do this to me. My father closed my face tightly between his fingers to turn it towards him. Shame and fear overwhelmed me as my tears streamed down my face under his strong grip. I hated myself.

"You'll never learn your lesson, will you? Tell me, have you ever seen us cry? Yet our son is a traitor! A filthy, worthless traitor!"

My father pushed me away and Sirius collapsed to the ground as our mother released his trembling body to wipe the end of her wand. They both left us alone next to the dining table. I was standing over my brother, who was now looking directly into my eyes from below. I had completely lost control and self-restraint over my emotions. Sirius, however, just stared at me with a glassy gaze. Please... please, it can't be that you don't feel this too.. I'm above you. I will be stronger than you, but it can't feel like this.  I am suffering, and you are getting back on your feet. You wipe the blood from your face and walk past me.  I feel your touch on my shoulder, but it's a fragment of a moment, or just a figment of my imagination. I continue to stare blankly ahead. Seeing the pool of blood you left behind. Looking at myself in the mirror, pitiful, the one you left behind. You can't even imagine how afraid I am that one day you'll leave me  and never come back.

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1977

"My dear little boy. We are immeasurably proud of you. We always have been."

My mother smiled proudly at me while adjusting my attire. She ran her hand along my green tie and dusted off my black robe. She tried to style my black shoulder-length hair as if I were about to head to the Ministry of Magic, where a good impression is extremely important. Of course, that was far from the truth. My father stared blankly from the armchair. He was completely indifferent to my studies at Hogwarts.
Despite my father's peculiar opinion, my brother suffers countless punishments at home for breaking school rules. My family opposes the Muggle-borns prevalent at Hogwarts. They believe that every one of my missteps is clearly the fault of a blood traitor, and besides, such people don't belong in a place where many of my ancestors studied over the years. The Black family has no business with Muggles. However, they were undeniably proud of me when, after the disappointment brought by my brother, I was sorted into Slytherin.
I glanced at Sirius, who was still packing his bag. He didn't look at me, but he knew I was there and what I was thinking. He always knew my worries, yet I never knew his. He closed his travel bag, and we were both ready to leave. Different purposes drove us as we returned to the castle. Sirius was completely emotionless and cold, yet with the approaching school year, I saw a faint enthusiasm and excitement in him that filled me with bitterness. He loves Hogwarts.
We both traveled to the train together, but from there, our paths would not cross again until the holidays. His loyalty bound him to Gryffindor. The only thing connecting us was our shared past and pure blood. Apart from that, we had no common goal.