I left the house still crying. I met Kai last time I was in New York.What happened then- I will take care to never be repeat…
” I’m sorry ” I stopped. He wasn’t fucking serious. Oh fuck he wasn’t doing that „Please forgive me” shit.
” You what? ”
” I’m sorry … It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Please forgive me” There it was… I laughed . The cold breeze hit me in the face. The tears were gone. I looked up in his eyes. Although he was ‘apologizing’ , his black eyes were blank, cold. They said nothing. He didn’t care. And that was only his fault.
” And what exactly did you think it was going to happen , huh? You left me there, alone with that… monster. Why did you do this to me ?”
” He saved my life, Less. I owed him. You know how my life was before. I didn’t want to go there anymore. ”
” Alessia..”
” What? ” His face was confused like he didn’t know what was going to happen…
” Is Alessia for you and you know what? Fuck that. You didn’t need him to ‘save’ you. You were homeless not suffering from cancer. ” He gave me an apologetic look. Finally I saw his eyes again. During the conversation I avoided to look into them. They were tearful, same as mines. That made me feel a little bit guilty. I didn’t want him to be like that. I turned around and started leaving, not knowing what to say.
” Please don’t do this.. don’t go. Fuck Black , just don’t leave me..” I felt the pain like someone was digging a knife into my heart.
” You left me first…”
” No I didn’t and you know it very well. You may want to remember what you said last time we met.” I froze. How the hell did he still remembered that?! …
(Flashback)
I was in the hotel, preparing to leave when my phone rang.
” I need to talk to you.” I acknowledged the voice right away.
” What’s up babe? ”
” I did something. I can’t tell you what ‘cause you would freak out .. ” He scared me with that.
” What do you mean ? What did you do Kai ?! ”
” I can’t tell you on the phone. Can we meet in ten ? ”
” Yes sure.”
” I’ll be in front of the hotel in 10. I love you” I hung up. I wasn’t the best on confessing my feelings. Especially not after that conversation.
15 minutes later we were on a bench in the park.
” I’m telling you this because I trust you that you won’t say anything to anyone.. ”
I was in shock after he told me everything. He killed a man. He said it was an accident. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t. Kai- a criminal. It just wasn’t right . He told me that he can’t give up on me and that he loves me.
However the next day I was in a plane going back home. I was supposed to stay at least another month in New York but I left. I left after I promise him I wouldn’t leave him alone. In other words I left him.
(End flashback)
He was right. What he did wasn’t ok, at all. But what I did- was horrible.
” I needed you Less. You were my family, my friend, my everything, and you left me” I sighed and turned around. He got closer to me and whispered.
” I wasn’t kidding you know? I did love you. I still do. ” He pressed his lips against mine. Damn I needed that so much. Then he left without saying anything else.
I cried , hard. I was so stupid. Why did I let him go?! He needed me and I needed him. I love him so fucking much. He didn’t know but everyday after I left I felt guilty and I was thinking about him all day long. This would’ve never happened if I hadn’t left New York. He would’ve never been a part of all this.
I left that place and took a cab. Soon I realized I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t afford to stay at a hotel anymore ‘cause I didn’t find a job. I knew one person that could helped me . I called Jax .
” What’s up? ”
” Hey.. Can I ask you a favor? ”
” Yeah but you ok? You don’t sound too good”
” I’m fine don’t worry..” No I’m not fine!!
” What you wanted to ask me ?”
” Can I stay at your place till I get a job? I mean I’m not sure I can afford to stay at a hotel anymore..”
” Sure you can. Damn you didn’t even have to ask! ” I smiled. He always had that effect on me. Jax was great.
” Thank you so much! ” I hung up and told the driver to take me to the hotel so I can take the things I had there.
After 15 minutes I was knocking on Jax’s door.
” Come in ”
” Thanks” He lead me to the guest room and put my bags near the bed.
” So… were have you been all night? ” Ok, I didn’t see that coming…
” What do you mean? ”
” I called at your hotel and they said you weren’t there … ”
” I have a cell remember? ”
” Oh I do. In fact I called you 15 times. And send you 10 texts . Where the fuck have you been?” I pulled out my phone and opened it. 17 missed calls and 15 texts – all from Jax.
” Oh God I’m sorry I didn’t mean to worry you..”
” You scared me. But don’t avoid my question – where have you been? ”
” Out…”
” I know that move on to the point!”
” I don’t want to talk about this now I’m tired. By the way where is Alexa?”
” She’s out, lucky for you. She doesn’t really like you too much..”
” Yeah I can tell.”
” I’ll let you sleep now. See you.. but … you know-this conversation isn’t over , not until you tell me where were you last night.” I sighed.
” Ok.”
I tried but I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about Kai. I need to see him again , to explain him what happened, why I left him. And I will see him again even if that means sleeping with Black again…
YOU ARE READING
Black roses and dark dreams
RomanceHer whole life was turned upside down in one day. Now she has no idea who she is or who are her parents. She tries to stay focused and find out something about her family but it is really hard when the temptations keep showing everyday in her life...
