The Power of goodbye

Chapter One: Hung Up

2008

You led a dull and unexciting life. It was what you wanted. You never had high expectations for yourself or your life, and your dreams were never far out of reach. You've accomplished your main goals and you're only twenty-six. You passed the bar exam, got into law school, and you were beginning your career in law. You don't own a house or a car, but when you live in the city those kinds of things don't really matter.

You have no kids, no boyfriend, and no pets as of right now. Your dating life hasn't been... ideal. You had one long-term relationship when you were in college that survived through three years of college and then a year after graduation, and then some relationships that came and go after that. Dating has never really been a priority for you though, and you rarely make the effort to seek something new like that out.

You have always had the feeling of when your life will start, but without realizing it you've been living it. It started when you started breathing, it started when you graduated high school, it started when you had that pregnancy scare in college, it started when you got into law school, and it started today after work.

The sun was still out and the warmth from outside felt good on your skin. You could feel yourself gradually begin to warm up in your sweater. Office air conditioning is not a joke. You were leaving work as you rummaged in your purse for your bus pass when you heard a ghost from your past speak to you.

"Y/N L/N as I live and breathe!" You looked up before you could even register the voice. You recognized your name first, but it was like your body recognized the voice before your brain. Your chest got tight at the sound of his voice, and the air seemed to get cold all of a sudden. Really like a ghost. Walking up to you across the street there he was, your ex-boyfriend, and you could hardly believe it with your eyes widening as he sauntered up to you like no time had ever past.

"Sidney?" you asked loudly so he could hear you past the distance that he was closing. "What are you doing here?" You asked as you brought him in for an unsure hug. Was this even real?

It was an awkward hug, but he still smelled the same. He still used that same cologne. He thought to himself that you still used that same perfume from college. The smell, you both thought, brought up old memories. The hug was brief, and you pulled away pretty quickly. You can still feel the scratchiness of his sport coat. He never wore sportscoats before.

"Well I was actually just on my way to go get some dinner! I live out of the way but didn't feel like cooking tonight," he says keeping everything lighthearted with a laugh. The atmosphere was still uncomfortable for you; seeing him made you uncomfortable. Being around him in general made you uncomfortable.

"Oh cool! Have you been living in the city? This is the first time I've really seen you since... well for like five years or something like that." You didn't want to outright say when you broke up with him because that was the last time you saw him. His head in his hands, tears in his eyes, his voice sounding raw and weak. You don't really feel that pang of guilt when you think about it anymore, but you remember how it tormented you.

"I do have an apartment at the edge of the city. It works out because my organization is about thirty minutes out so I have quite the commute to work. The food is better around here anyway. Say, you just got off work right? Why not join me?" He sure was quick to change the topic off himself and quick to ask you to dinner. You began to stamper, taken aback once again. You were honestly just about to say your goodbyes. Was it too bold to assume that he didn't really want to see you despite him greeting you first?

"Sidney, oh my gosh I don't know..." His face falls and he pauses.

"Oh don't tell me that you're seeing somebody. I should've asked," he starts but you cut him off. Somehow him thinking that you were dating someone else was way more humiliating for you than declining the invite.