Reviewed by: Kalavatti@Kalavatti
Book Title: Malora
Genre: Fantasy
Author's Name: Thundercloud_E
Chapters reviewed: Prologue+5 Chapters
Cover: 10/10
The cover is just fantastic. The enchanting image of Malora, set against the aged, parchment-like backdrop, captures the perfect fantasy vibe.
Title: 8/10
Though the name of the character itself is pretty alluring and is a good idea to use it as a title, I feel that adding a subtitle to the story would be nice and would enhance it. For example: Malora: Forging Destiny in a Divided World
Blurb/Description: 6/10
The statement "Malora follows a young hybrid girl struggling..." is a bit confusing. It seems the Malora is following someone at first. I suggest you change it to "Malora follows the story of a young hybrid girl struggling..." so as to avoid confusion. I find the blurb a little lacking.
1) The blurb briefly mentions Malora's struggles, but doesn't emphasize the challenges she has to face, including societal prejudice, family secrets, and rivalries. Adding this could create a clearer sense of conflict and urgency.
2) You could hint at Malora's unique abilities and the potential for character growth. Maybe you could suggest that her mixed heritage could be a source of strength rather than just a struggle, adding depth to her journey.
3) You could enhance the setting by describing Gaarom as a "beacon of knowledge and power" or by using any other adjective you find suitable which adds a sense of allure and significance to the academy.
4) The inclusion of dark secrets and rival students would add layers of intrigue and raises questions that will entice readers to find out more.
5) By highlighting Malora's dream and the obstacles she faces, you could invite readers to connect emotionally with her journey.
These are just some friendly suggestions for the blurb from one writer to another. You need not necessarily follow them. You could also read blurbs of some other books to get a general idea of what all it should include :)
Time interval between chapter updates: 10/10 It's good to update continuously. The Prologue and the first 2 chapters were updated on the same date, this properly introduced the story to the reader. After that, you have been continuously updating the book at an almost regular pace, keeping the reader hooked up. I personally like this strategy :)
-ˏˋ⋆ P R O L O G U E ⋆ˊˎ-
Start: 7.5/10
The use of vivid imagery is a nice way to start with the prologue, but since it's a fantasy story, providing some information on the world or maybe the time period would be a better way to start since there isn't some info about it in the prologue other than the mention of the horse like creatures and the tail and horn feature of the human-like beings.
Character development: 10/10
I can't believe how nicely you have portrayed the feelings of the main character. Each and every emotion of hers has been described in a nice detail. Apart from her, the character development of her parents is less compared to hers but is nice and makes one relate to them. I personally loved how you first portrayed Feroth as intimidating but then revealed his sweet and warm side towards his daughter.
Writing style, Grammar, spelling, etc.: 10/10
Your writing style is good and you have your way with words. Each and every description is well written. I couldn't find a single mistake in the prologue in terms of grammar and spelling. It's evident that you've worked hard, proofed and edited it well. :)
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