Leave

Chapter 2

I sat in my little closet room and absentmindedly braided parts of my hair. My mom had told me she would be back soon and so she had locked me in my room. She doesn't trust me at all.
I looked around my dark, musty room and sighed. I had a small bedroll, and a little bow with belongings, and a corner with neatly folded clothes, and a few shoes. My mom loved me, I could see that, but our circumstances with my father gone did not provide us with wealth.
I could hear my mom walking down the dusty path to our home and soon hear the door creak open. She set something down and then came and unlocked my door. I immediately jumped up and ran out, gasping for fresh air.
"Is it really that horrible?" she asked.
"You try sitting in there, sleeping in there, living in there!" I huff.
"Honey I'm sorry but we just don't have the money. With your father...gone things have been difficult, and with the government things won't always be how we want them to. I hate to suggest this, but next month the Leave are coming. They will be choosing ten and if you wanted to you could try to get in. Brent has more choices and freedom then you and this will be your chance to get what you have always wanted. Your freedom."
I stared at my mom in stunned silence. Had she really just told me I could just leave her and Brent? Why would she do that?
"Mom are you sure? I know I'm an extra mouth to feed. I know I can be a lot of trouble. I know you didn't want me born, but why are you saying this? You just want me to go?" I ask with thrill, joy, surprise, anger, and curiosity going through my head all at once.
"Scarlet, I just want you to have a better oppurtunity to make your own decision. I love you so much. Your really do make me proud. I'm not trying to force you out. I want you to have your dream," and with that she hugged me.
Maybe this was a hard decision for her to make. Maybe she didn't want her baby girl to leave the nest. Maybe she did want what was best for me, and I could just hang on to the hope.
My mom pulled away and said she had to make dinner. I smiled and couldn't wait to tell Shae. Maybe she could try for the Leave too.
* * * * * * * * *

That night at dinner we all sat quietly at the table eating our chicken broth. My mom made great broth, but you learned to get tired of it that you ate it all the time. Brent stared at his bowl and my mom filled out the dinner form.
"So....Brent. How did your studies go today?" I said trying to make conversation.
He stared at me scowling.
"Why do you care?" he asked.
I shrugged, "Well I just wondered. Especially since I can't really do anything, I'd like to learn from you at least a little bit."
My mom looked up at me and gave a slight shake of her head. Of course! No always a no. I wasn't even allowed to ask my brother what he was learning.
"I'm not hungry. I'll be in my room," and with that I left. I was still hungry, but it was so unfair. Why? Why?! It didn't make any sense that I wasn't allowed to talk to my brother about certain things, or my mom even. Did they really expect me to just sit there, not talk and just be basically a statue? I felt like screaming my heart out. I threw myself on my bedroll and dug my face into my pillow and screamed. To people in the house it would of sounded like a whisper so I screamed again and again, again. I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed again and punched my pillow. I could feel tears coming to my eyes and tried to blink them away but they just came like a flood anyway. My tears streamed down my face and soaked my pillow. I screamed again. I was confined, depressed maybe. I didn't know, and i didn't care. All i knew was that I was trapped with no choice, no freedom.