My true sanctuary ~ satosugu

1. 𝙖𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙘 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨

Standing up with a deep sigh, suguru stretched, lethargic, noting the stiffness of his neck and the slight swelling of his muscles, knowing he'd wake up sore the next day.
It would hinder his performance in the cult, his parents wouldn't like that.
God wouldn't like that.
Even though he'd already seen the keys suspended in the lock, he walked through the sacred bookstore slowly.
He aimed at the minutiae of the shelves, the ornaments of the columns, the frigid floor that reflected the satellite shining in the sky.
It was all white, white and pure, pure and divine.
The scent of the books was the only mundane component of the establishment, reminding suguru of where he was.
The pristine covers and the lack of dust, even in the earliest pages, made the place seem like a piece of Heaven on Earth.
Suguru would never admit it, but it was there where he felt closest to God — even more so than in His house. It was where he felt most worthy of His observation. Where he felt he had the chance to be a heavenly boy, someone who deserved divine salvation.
Revering the environment, he took the keys in his hands. Cold, cold and golden, golden and silvery.
Heavenly.
Divine.
Finding the correct key,  suguru turned off the lights. The change of atmosphere was easily noticeable in the absence of the pale beam of light from the chandelier on the ceiling.
Especially on nights like this, when he was the last one to leave the place.
Believing that silence made the place even more sacred, the boy opened the wide transparent door without making any noise.
The door.
It was the only part that bothered him.
When he was in the bookstore, suguru imagined himself in heaven, accompanied by other angels and books with records of the pure believers of the earth.
However, a mere glance at the door and, consequently, at the outside world, and the boy remembered: he was in Tokyo surrounded by sinners and books with records of the few souls who would have his salvation.

Glass.Glass and screams. Glass, screams and heat.

As soon as he left the library, suguru felt chills. The sounds were disturbing. He checked the time on his wristwatch-

2:00  am

' I should have been home six hours ago. '
Unacceptable.
He'd missed dinner. He wasn't hungry, but how would he feel? He knew his parents had said their prayers at the table. They had communicated with God and suguru was not there.
What if the deity didn't think he was worthy anymore? Could He, with all his kindness and compassion, forgive a sinner like suguru?
Feeling a knot at the pit of his stomach, he walked in the direction he thought was opposite to the commotion in the streets. Meeting those lost in God's way was the worst that could happen. He shouldn't associate with them. Suguru was a good boy.

Glass. Glass and screams. Glass, screams and heat.

The Moon bathed the streets as if it were a spotlight, all of suguru's  steps captured by the immensity of the great white. The bright colors of the traffic light, dimmed and the screams, a forgotten memory in the boy's mind. A nightmare, an invitation to the putrid side.
Suguru liked to imagine himself up there, controlling the brightness of the Moon, directing it towards another lost apple amid the horde of spoiled fruits. The moonlight was purely majestic.
Ethereal.
Everything was so ethereal up there.
So, he fixed his feet in the middle of the street. Standing in the crosswalk, he turned his gaze completely and solely to the Moon. To God.
He was seeking peace. He wanted to be able to focus on the star so intensely that God would feel compelled to bring suguru with Him. To heaven, eternal and ethereal.
His focus, however, kept suguru from listening to the growing whirring of the engines until they were too close.
Closing his eyes, suguru threw himself against the ground. He felt numbness of his whole body in the absence of pain from the shock.

Glass. Glass and screams. Glass, screams and heat.

A loud horn made itself present and, with it, the squeaking of wheels and the invasive odor of gasoline.At that moment, about to die, suguru expressed something similar to a smile.
He hugged his body in his chest, feeling the presence of his Bible next to his chest, even if it wasn't there.
No time for prayers, as he waited for the inevitable, suguru had a single recurring thought in his mind ' God. Your son is ready '.

"Holy shit!"

God

"Are you trying to kill yourself, raven mane ?"
Suguru opened his eyes.
The noisy vehicle was a motorcycle, laying about two meters away from him. In front of him, he could see the rubber tracks of its tires, covered in smoke.
The most compelling, though, was a boy, holding his recently removed helmet in his hands and smiling in a completely relaxed manner.
Disoriented, the smile and white locks were the only characteristics of the boy that suguru could absorb.
He sought to get up, head bowed, trying to move away from the other promptly. However, with all his limbs trembling, suguru fell to the ground almost immediately.
Preparing to try again, with some urgency, suguru turned his eyes even further to the ground, barely too late to ignore the boy's hand in his field of vision.
It was extended. The stranger slightly bent over, staring at him with what seemed like curiosity and lightness.

"You're not gonna take it?"

Suguru promptly took the other's hand. It was warm, contrasting with his own, frosty thanks to the ice-cold asphalt.
From the vehicle, the clothes and hurriedness, suguru assumed that the boy was participating in a street race, probably the cause of the screams, drinks and engines of before.
He tried to get untangle his hand from the other's, being surprised when the stranger only intensified his grip.

"Let me get you up first, then you can run."

That smile again. He smiled as if he had no worries, no doubt. Suguru found it terrifying.He wasn't intentionally silent, if he trusted himself to formulate a coherent sentence, he would have done it by now. His brain felt like clay, suguru only processed words, loose and tangled.

Fear. Surprise. Punishment. Sin. Danger. Glass. Brightness. Despair. Death. Sky. Purgatory.
Hell. Gasoline. Heat. Red.
What about God?
The boy wanted to punch himself for forgetting about Him for a mere second.
Amidst your greatest doubts, God shall be your only certainty, his father used to say.

"Leave." It was the first thing he said, facing the biker with some caution. "...Want to leave."
He noticed the other's eyebrows arching in confusion and tensed his body when the white head approached him.

"I think you might be in shock, raven mane" He tilted his head subtly and ran his eyes through Suguru's body. Then he widened his eyes, dropping the calm look for the first time since they'd met. "Oh shit, and bleeding."
Suguru snapped out of his trance.
Bleeding?
Where his hands had rested after the fall, there was a scarlet and viscous liquid, blood.
In the center of his chest, stains formed a red-rose and chaotic. They spread through the rest of his white robes like in a Pollock painting.
He became aware of his previous torpor when, upon discovering the origin of the wound—a
parable-shaped cut in his left hand—he started to feel burning, pulsating pain in the wound.
His whole body burned.
' I need to go home. '
It was intense. Suguru was aware that, to heal the pain, the wounded must pray. Pray that He heals you.
'I really need to go home.'

He began to walk, stumbling and shaking, seeking to calm his rapid breathing. He brought his hand to his chest again and screamed when he felt something pointy pierce him .

Glass. Glass and screams. Glass, screams and heat.

No shouting, the commotion of before was gone. No heat, suguru felt frigid, frozen. Just  glass.
A piece of glass shoved deep in his flesh.