You're here, that's good. Now we can start.
I don't believe in love.
I believe it's a stupid word.
I walk, and almost everywhere I walk, I see a couple.
I don't wish for their pain. I wish to be them.
But this story is everything I'm not.
What I never was.
You could hopefully believe me though, when I say that I'm a good person--well, I believe I am--but I've got a rough side.
And it's not my fault..I don't believe so.
It's love's fault. Not mine.
Cause it never found me. I was right there, beside it, but it never found me.
Does love hate me?
I'm sure it doesn't, maybe it just doesn't see me.
But I'm right there--how could it not?
It's a Monday, and currently, I don't wanna wake up. I don't want to go to school, I don't wanna go to class, I don't wanna socialize, I don't wanna see him.
Him.
It almost makes me gag, that word. That thought.. That person.
But again, I don't believe in love. So clearly, it must be hate. And it could be--no--it is.
It has to be.
After all, seeing him--it makes me shiver.
And I hate when I shiver.
Seeing him, it makes me feel red.
That's my least favorite color.
He makes me feel like shrivelled roses, messy.
I hate messy.
I know hate is not a kind word.
But I don't wanna love him, do I?
..do I?
No.
The answer is obvious, and it's no.
I don't. I never will. I never did.
...
.. I mean, what would I do if I did?
It's basically impossible for me to love someone after living this life for 17 years.
Love is what I've never felt before, anyway.
...
Right?
YOU ARE READING
What I Never Was
Romance(Currently making a series of books called /Shrivelled Roses'. This is the first book, but it might also be the last. I hope it isn't) "why can't you just chill out?" He wouldn't stop bugging me, so I snapped. "don't tell me to chill out! -- just...
