Complicated

Prologue

All I felt from them is a numb ache that spread throughout my bluish veins. I cannot picture my life without my best friend, but I guess God has his influence on the things you cannot control in life. My wishing only became stronger as I grieved over her loss. She couldn't be gone, could she? In my mind, she wasn't. In some ways she is still with me, as though she is my guardian angel. What a blessing she was to me when she was in my life, and what a blessing it is to have her watch over me. I continue to let the thoughts flood through my brain, becoming stronger with each passing moment. You could have saved her, she might not be dead. I only wish my sober thoughts that night could have saved her, but I was a naïve girl who was playing a game with death. All I could think of were the possibilities I had of saving her. If only I had told her to let me drive, although I do not have a driver's license, or if I had suggested we take a taxi, and bypassed the consequences of drunk driving.

But no, I am the girl who let my best friend die in a fatal car crash. I am also the girl who let my best friend kill the only girl he loved. Never again can I succumb to the harsh effects of alcohol, I have not tasted it in years. It's sour and foul, nothing I'd ever want on my tongue again. I wish I had saved her.

If only I had saved her.