Haunted

i n c i d e n t

Song of the chapter

ENOUGH FOR YOU; Olivia Rodrigo

"Tried so hard to be everything that you liked."

"'Cause all I ever wanted was to be enough for you."

"You say I'm never satisfied, but that's not me, it's you."

𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𖥧 Gabriella 𖤣𖥧𖡼𖤣𖥧

Joey was using again.
Or at least I suspected he was.

My phone calls and texts had gone unanswered and we weren't talking. I didn't know if it was because of that day outside the Garda station or if he was just upset with himself for falling back into old habits.

It didn't help that I was also trying to avoid him. I'd done the whole addict thing with my father and it was so fucking hard. Watching them sink into a hole and knowing you can't do anything to help.

I love Joey—I knew I did—and that made this so much more impossible. He was so closed off, and afraid of letting me in, that it was like I couldn't even understand him.

I knew he was probably upset with me for trying to get him to tell the Gards about his family, but I was only trying to help.

If I had to pass him in the hallway and see his dead eyes and sluggish walk, I might just go crazy.

He'd gotten in a huge fight at school today and was taken to the principles office, again. I'd learned from Aoife that the boy he fought was one of Shannon's bullies brother. I couldn't blame him for doing it, he was so protective of his siblings.

But watching the person you love self-destruct was a horrible feeling.

I'd caved and texted him fifteen minutes ago, but of course I got no reply. I was angrily erasing the answer to my maths problem, when my mam sauntered into the room.

"Oh, Gabriella," She sighed, and I prepared for the complaining, "Your room is a disaster."

I looked to the two pieces of clothing on the floor and sucked in a breath.

"I'll clean it after my homework," I mumbled, brushing away the eraser bits from my paper.

"What I was going to say, before walking into this mess, was that I ran into Susan at the salon today," She pursed her lips, "And she mentioned the incident."

The incident was the new term for what happened at Tommen. Since she couldn't stomach saying what actually happened, she made up ways of talking around it.

"Oh," I nodded, "What about it?"

Mam crinkled her nose, "She said she felt sorry for you and that she knows how boys can coerce young girls to make poor decisions. I agreed, even though I knew that it was all your fault."

I hate my mother, I fucking hate her.

Failing to hold back my frustration, I snapped, "Sorry, is there a point to this conversation?"

"The point is that people are talking about it, Gabriella," She scoffed, "Your poor decisions, have made a fool of this family. Next time you get involved with a boy, use your head. This isn't how I raised you."

"Why are you blaming me?" I shot out, "Why are you always blaming me?"

"I am not!" Mam gasped, "I just don't want you embarrassing yourself or your family. You go to community school, do you know how embarrassing that is for me? And having all the other Mam's know what you did?"

"Oh my god!" I shouted, "I'm a good student, I get perfect grades, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I do everything to please you but it's never enough!"

"Gabriella," Mam gaped, "How dare you speak to me this way?"

"No, Mam," Tears were falling onto my cheeks, "How dare you? I love you, I try so hard but it doesn't matter."

Mam released a strangled laugh and shook her head, "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't like it. Finish your homework, and don't bother coming down for dinner, unless you straighten out your attitude."

"Fine!" I yelled, as she closed the door, "I don't want to eat anyways!"

It was the truth, the last thing I wanted was food. I'd actually been getting better with eating—thanks to Joey—but without him to help I was falling into old habits.

I guess I couldn't blame him for turning to drugs when I did the same with starving myself. Two sides of the same coin, I suppose.

But I was terrified of what the cocaine and pills could lead to. I'd seen it all before with my da, and the thought of going through it again made me sick.

I wished I could take all of Joeys pain away, because the boy had too big of a heart to deserve it.

A part of me felt like it was my job to save him.

But I was scared I wouldn't be able to.
And I'd be left as the one who needs saving.

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quick little update because i'm so exhausted from school/hospital

angst is brewing ;))

i love you

xoxo

-Freyja