(Originally posted April 5, 2013)
Zara 1996 – 2003 (1)
The following chapter in Zara's story is compiled from a couple interviews.
During these years, Zara's life was relatively calm, for the most part. The commentary is taken from the interviews. This is all Zara speaking.
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Zara's words
June 3, 2015
After reading this part again, I decided to add a little more information. Nothing serious, but just a little more insight into my life during that time.
I was so glad to get my stuff from Newfie. The old clothes and things from my room were a reminder of better times. I got all the old home movies, which I looked at that same night. I could not believe that the projector still worked. Since then, Jay has had them all put to DVD, with music and commentary from me. They are hard to watch sometimes, but still, they bring back a lot of good memories.
There was even the old Paul McCartney poster. I still have that poster in our rec-room. Jay had it framed for me after he managed to get it autographed for me. He surprised me with it one Christmas. I don't know how he got the autograph, but that is Jay. He always does shit like that. He is so wonderful.
Nanny Olive's rocker is still in our living room. At one point I considered getting it restored, but that would be like erasing memories. So it sits there as it always will. I sit in it sometimes and knit, just like my Nanny Olive and Mom used to.
I was still the best of friends with Nicki. She and Will got married in February, 1997. I was her maid of honour, while her brother Jay was the best man. Will and Jay were buddies, even though Jay was three years younger than him and four years younger than me.
He was flirting with me all night. My God, he was such a pest. He kept asking me out. I kept refusing him. I couldn't help but look at him as Nicki's pesky little brother. He was cute, but to me he was just a boy.
If only I had a crystal ball.
I was so happy for Nicki. She was so happy with Will and he was simply a doll to her.
And it was even better when they bought a house just a ten minute walk from my place. Nicki said she could not imagine me being that far away that she could not walk over for Sunday morning coffees.
I dated a little. Nothing serious.
After the fucking mess with Brian, I was ready to swear off men all together. But it was nice, once in a while to have some male company other than my friends.
And I am a healthy woman and I do have needs. God, that makes me sound like a slut.
I was not promiscuous, but I did have a couple relationships that lasted a couple months and they were of the physical variety.
Oh God. Do not include that in the story, Bill.
I could have dated all the time if I had of let Jay have just one date.
Looking back I probably should have, but like I said before, I always looked at him as Nicki's younger brother. Although for a while he was very persistent and a couple times I almost gave in.
I even talked to Nicki about it one time, but she reminded me that if we did date and break up, it could make things awkward between me and her.
I don't think it ever would have, but I wasn't willing to take the chance.
I was determined to make a life for myself. I worked hard at my accounting and that was what was important to me.
I wanted to be completely independent. I did not want to have to rely on anyone to look after or support me.
I became a CPA and took courses in specialized business accounting and such. I was always good with numbers so this was a natural to me and of course Auntie She was always there to help me.
I felt good about myself. I felt in control of my life and I was making good money.
I remember talking to you, Bill, in the middle of 2000. You were such a mess. You were so sad, so miserable. I was really afraid. I didn't know what to expect from you and I sure as hell did not want to lose you, even though we had been drifting apart. I guess the problems you were having was taking its toll on you.
When you told me about the issues you were having, I offered to help you, but you would have no part of it.
You told me your marriage was disintegrating and your money problems.
I remember asking you to come to me. To come and stay with me until you got your shit together. I had tons of room and I knew I could help you get a job and get your life back on track.
But you refused. It really hurt me, but later I understood. You simply didn't want to put all your shit on me.
The truth was, at that time, I wanted you to come to me. It was completely selfish on my part. There was still this part of me that wanted to see if there was anything there. But, once again, I had to step aside and watch you go in another direction.
And then a while later you moved to Alberta. And you are still there. And still happy.
Becoming a godparent was such an honour. I was absolutely blown away when Nicki and Will asked me to be little Jamie's godmother. I had to smile when they told me Jay was going to be the godfather.
I remember asking Nicki if she was trying to get the two of us together. I think she was, even though we had discussed the very same thing just a few months before.
Jamie, we call her James, is such a beautiful young girl. I mean she is absolutely stunning. Real model material. But then her mother is gorgeous and Will is no slouch either.
