Please, don't forget me

My life

"Judy....Judy wake up!"
" mhmm I'm up"
6 and a half o'clock, every day except Saturday and Sunday, my dad woke me up for school.
I really liked it.
I was the strong, funny, cool and the best kid on school and never had problems with it, I thought I was happy with it,
I mean thought what else I could need more then best grades, good family and friends.... friends?

3th grad.
My life was getting complicated because of Corona(I hated it) I couldn't go to school or meet friends, I had to stay home and because of that, because I was a long time sick, I had to repeat the 3th grade, I was sad but not that much because I didn't really understood it.
I kept going, I was getting better and I always was finished with the work , so they had to give me more. It was too easy, since 1st grade I always did know the solutions of the grades over mine.

4th grade.
I had a lot of "Friends"  yes, I named them like this.

One day a "friend" called on FaceTime and talked shit about others who also were my friends. She said shit about them and of the little brother of one and asked my about my opinion , the only thing a said in this call was "I don't think so and her little brother is pretty cute".

Next day in school she told the teachers and half the of my class That I talked shit about everybody and their family and said that she can proof that because she done a screen recording.
The teachers letting the hole class know about that and give me all the fault even if I told them that's not true. I didn't cry, I wanted to but I didn't.

So I decided to to done the same thing but this time I was the fault again, everyone forgot what she done and gave me the fault. She cried and cried and I was the devil.

Last days at 4th grade were pretty good and at the last day I cried, everybody thought because I'm gonna miss them but no, it was because I was so happy that I'm finally living. The only true friends I had this time was my sit neighbor and the girl, they were my best friends.
I really liked my sit neighbor because even when he was new at school and I bullied him because of someone that I called "friend". I apologize to him I knew as little kid that will never be able to fix everything but on this one day I done everything that he will forgive me and he did at the first try.

We became friends and I never laughed more than with him and with the other girl and at this point I knew they were real.

Since we all left, we never saw each other again.
Just 1 time I met her in a school football match we won and we talked a little and the boy I never saw him again.

And yes this all left much in my life, know have been for over 2 years big trust issues, so nobody really nobody knows me and nobody will ever notice what's happening because I never cry. I can't cry never, it doesn't matter how much I was hurt I always have to hold it back. I don't want that every single person talk about my and ask how I'm feeling. So I'm having fun with my pain alone.

"The worst thing about being strong is that no
one asks if you're okay"