A Helpful Guide on How to Take Over the World (without falling in love)

Entry # 1- November 2nd

If you are reading this... congratulations! You live in an excellent world. Great healthcare, rocking economy, exceptional schools - the whole shebang. And to that, I say you're welcome. Why? Because if this fine journal of mine makes it to print, it will be because I have successfully completed my goal of taking over the world.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. This memoir of mine is to be distributed when it is time for me to throw in the towel. My days as a benevolent ruler have come to an end, and I need someone to step up and take my place. I don't believe in nepotism, so you all have to earn the right to fill my shoes.

Thus, I bestow upon this step-by-step guide on how I obtained my success... or how I will obtain my success, rather. This is something of a work in progress. But like I said, nobody is going to be reading this unless things go well, so feel free to follow along!

Yours Truly,

Apollo

Entry 1: Know Thy Area and Thy Enemies

If you've picked up this handy-dandy book, you probably already know who I am. If not? Well, I'm sorry for your recent bout of amnesia and will give you a quick refresher.

The world knows me as Apollo. All-time famous supervillain. As I write this, not many people know me... yet. People tend to know me by my other identity: Colin Lennox.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Wow, Colin, you want to be a villain when you grow up? How morally corrupt and cliché. You must have had a bad childhood-

Wrong. My childhood was dope. And do you know why it was dope? My mom and I were villains. In fact, my mom was actually, like, the villain. Top dog. Scariest of all the scary people. The world knows her as the Mourner, but I know her as the coolest person ever.

And look, people just kind of stuck the word 'villain' on my peeps without any critical thinking skills. Think about the best villains. The ones that matter. Did some of them kind of have a point?

In my humble opinion, heroes and villains are just kind of lame labels we put on people to separate people who 'follow the rules' versus people who, you know, get things done. Now, obviously, not every villain is a sweetie pie like me, but for the most part, we all have pretty noble goals. People just bitch about how we get to those goals.

At any rate, yes, I am a sort of villain-in-training at the moment. When I turn eighteen next week, however, that will change, and I'll be off to do my full-fledged villainy before taking over the world. You're welcome.

Since my lovely audience is probably reading this in the future when everything is perfect, I'll give you a brief overview of how things are now:

Welcome to New York. A typical setting for villains and heroes, sure, but it isn't our fault people decided to congregate in a few cities. You have to go where the work is, I guess. And my mom told me straight up she is not moving to LA with all those hippies. 

Now, depending on where you live in New York, it can be a lively atmosphere of good food, bustling parties, beautiful rooftop bars, and secret bars littered about... or you get rats, trash, dirt, and an abundance of social justice concerns on any given day.

Cue my power.

Like all super-inclined people, I have a skill. I'm able to impact people's health. Do you get my name now? Apollo? Like the god of medicine? He's also the sun god, and I have a sunny personality, so it all works out.

Now, there are kinks, obviously. Sure, I can make someone perfectly healthy, but that bad mojo has to go somewhere. For example, if someone has a heart attack, I can take that heart attack and give it to someone else.