Without warning, I reached down and gave her ass a hard smack.
"That's for spray painting my car," I said.
Her breath hitched, and she bit her lip, trying to suppress a smile. "You're such a caveman."
"Caveman? How about this?" I said, smacking her...
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Caleb's POV
The sun hung high in the sky as I waited for Esmeralda. The anxiety gnawed at me, a feeling I wasn't accustomed to, making me feel exposed. I leaned against my car, staring at the pavement as the world around me faded into a blur. It was a strange shift in perspective; I was usually the one doing the chasing, the one instilling fear or admiration in others. Now, I was the one standing here, anxious about what was to come.
The low hum of an engine cut through my thoughts, and I looked up just in time to see her pulling into the parking lot. My heart raced as she stepped out of her car, the sunlight glinting off her hair, making her look ethereal. I hated that she could still do this to me.
"Hey," she said, her voice soft as she approached, but I could see the uncertainty in her eyes.
"Hey," I replied, trying to keep my tone neutral, but my chest tightened with every step she took closer.
"Thanks for texting me," she said, shoving her hands in her pockets.
I nodded, the silence stretching between us. This was going to be harder than I thought.
"About last night..." I started, but she cut me off.
"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "I didn't mean to—"
"Stop," I said, raising a hand. "This isn't your fault." I took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I got caught up in the moment, and I didn't think about what I was doing... or what it meant."
She looked at me, confusion written all over her face. "What do you mean?"
I hesitated, searching for the right words. "I've never been the guy to get attached. I didn't want you to get hurt because of me. I thought I could just keep it physical, you know? But then... you dropped that 'I love you' bomb, and I freaked out."
Her expression shifted, a mixture of hurt and surprise flashing across her features. "So, you're saying I made you feel something? That's a bad thing?"
"No, it's just... complicated. I don't do love, Esmeralda. I can't. Not when I've seen what it does to people."
She stepped back, arms crossing over her chest. "You think I'm just some innocent girl who fell for the bad boy? I know what I'm getting into. I'm not some naive kid. I want you, Caleb. I want this. I want us."
The intensity of her words hit me like a freight train. I felt the heat creeping into my face as I processed what she was saying. "But can you handle what comes with me?" I pressed, the need to protect her overriding the desire gnawing at my insides. "I'm not exactly a safe choice."
"Neither am I," she countered, her voice steady. "I'm not looking for safety, Caleb. I'm looking for something real."
"Real? You mean dangerous, messy, and potentially heart-wrenching?" I challenged, my frustration flaring.
"Yeah. And I want to experience that with you," she replied fiercely, her eyes locked on mine.
The heat of her gaze ignited something deep within me, and for a moment, I let myself envision a future that didn't involve running away, that didn't involve keeping people at arm's length.
But then, the shadows of my past crept in. "You don't know what you're asking for," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Try me," she urged, her challenge sparking something primal within me.
The tension thickened, filling the air with an electric charge. In that moment, I felt a surge of something I hadn't expected: a mix of fear, desire, and an urge to protect her from the darker parts of my world.
But before I could respond, the buzzing of my phone broke the spell. I pulled it out of my pocket, glancing at the screen to see a message from one of my guys, urgent and demanding my attention.
I cursed under my breath. "I have to take this," I said, the urgency of the message pulling me back into my reality.
"Caleb, wait—"
I turned away, answering the message quickly. It was about a shipment that had gone wrong, and I felt the familiar pull of my responsibilities weighing on me. I couldn't let her drag me into a world I was trying to escape.
When I looked back at her, the hurt in her eyes struck me hard. "You just... you just don't get it, do you?" she said, her voice trembling slightly.
"Esmeralda, I—"
"Just go," she said, tears glistening in her eyes. "You have your life, and I have mine. I can't keep fighting for you when you don't even know what you want."
"Esmeralda, I—"
"Just drive me home," she interrupted, her voice steady now but laced with pain.
I nodded, knowing I had caused this rift. I'd pushed her away just when she'd been reaching for me. As I drove, the silence was suffocating. I could feel the weight of my decisions hanging in the air, and the tension between us was palpable.
"What did they want?" she asked quietly after a few minutes of strained silence.
"Just some issues with the shipment," I replied tersely, refusing to look at her.
"Right," she said, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "You don't have to lie to me, Caleb. I get it."
The frustration bubbled up again. "I'm not lying!"
"Then why are you acting like this?" she shot back, her voice rising slightly.
"Because I'm trying to protect you!"
"From what? Me? From myself?"
I gripped the steering wheel tighter, the tension in the car reaching a breaking point. "From the mess that is my life!" I yelled, the anger spilling over.
"You think you're some kind of monster?" she asked incredulously. "You're just scared. Scared of what we could be."
I shook my head, the truth of her words hitting too close to home. "No, I'm scared of what I could ruin. I'm scared of what happens when I let someone in."
Her voice softened, but the hurt was still there. "I thought I meant more to you than just a good time."
"You do!" I snapped back, my voice thick with frustration. "But I can't handle this. Not right now. I need to sort my shit out."
As we approached her house, the reality of the moment settled like a weight in my gut. I pulled into the driveway, shutting off the engine, the silence heavy and suffocating.
"Thanks for the ride," she said flatly, reaching for the door handle.
"Esmeralda—"
"Don't," she said, holding up a hand to stop me. "Just don't."
I watched as she stepped out, the door slamming behind her. The finality of the sound echoed in my chest, leaving me with a gnawing sense of loss. I sat there, staring at the space she'd just occupied, feeling the distance stretch between us.
As I drove away, my mind was a chaotic swirl of emotions—regret, anger, desire, confusion. I had pushed her away, but a part of me knew that I didn't want her gone. I wanted her close, but I was too scared to let her in.
The realization stung, and I felt a darkness creeping back in, threatening to swallow me whole.
