The alley was silent after their exchange, the tension between them hanging thick as Niki held Sunoo's gaze, waiting. It was as if the entire world had stilled, trapping them both in the weight of that moment. Sunoo's chest felt tight, his mind racing, fighting the urge to run but knowing deep down that there was no escape-not from this, and not from Niki's piercing gaze.
After a long silence, Sunoo let out a shuddering breath. "You really want to know why?"
Niki nodded, his expression softening just enough to invite Sunoo to speak, to let down a piece of his armor.
Sunoo glanced away, his voice barely a whisper. "There's something... there's something in me I don't think you'll understand. Something I've kept hidden for so long that sometimes, I don't even recognize myself."
Niki's gaze didn't waver, his attention unbroken as he waited for Sunoo to continue. So Sunoo drew a deep breath, steeling himself.
"I grew up with a man who didn't know what love was," he began, his voice rough with memory. "He... he was supposed to be my father, but he was nothing like one. He was obsessed with appearances, with how women looked, with... what he could get out of them. My mom was just one of many."
Sunoo paused, his hands clenching at his sides as he fought to keep his emotions from spilling over. "And when she found out about his... affairs, he didn't care. He left us without a second thought, and I saw my mother's heart break. It was like he took her spirit with him when he left."
Niki's expression softened, his brow furrowing as he took in Sunoo's pain. "Sunoo..."
"I know it sounds like a weak excuse," Sunoo continued, swallowing hard, "but after that, something in me just... broke. I started seeing people like him everywhere. Men who saw others as things to be used, who never bothered to look past the surface. They just... took whatever they wanted and left people shattered."
Niki's face was unreadable, his lips pressed into a thin line as he listened. "And that's why you...?"
Sunoo nodded, feeling the weight of his actions pressing down on him. "That's why. I felt like if I could stop people like him, if I could punish them the way he never was, it might fill that emptiness. I thought... I thought maybe it would make me feel like I'd finally done something to protect someone."
He took a shaky breath, his gaze turning to Niki, vulnerable and haunted. "But it hasn't made me feel better. It's just... made me feel more lost."
For a long moment, they stood in silence, the weight of Sunoo's confession filling the space between them. Sunoo braced himself for anger, for disgust-for Niki to pull away in horror. But when Niki finally spoke, his voice was quiet, filled with a raw understanding.
"Sunoo," he began slowly, "I get it. I don't... agree with what you've done, but I get why you felt like you had to do it. I know what it's like to carry around that pain and feel like the world hasn't made things right."
Sunoo's breath hitched, surprise flickering in his eyes. "You don't... hate me?"
Niki shook his head, his gaze steady. "No, I don't hate you. I don't know what to feel yet, but it's not hate. All I know is, I see you standing here, trying to be honest, and that matters to me."
A silence stretched between them as Sunoo absorbed Niki's words, relief and disbelief mingling within him. No one had ever looked at him like this, with so much compassion in their eyes. He had expected rejection, even disgust, but Niki's gaze held only empathy, as if he could see past Sunoo's actions to the person he truly was.
"Niki," Sunoo said softly, his voice trembling, "I know I don't deserve any forgiveness, but... thank you."
Niki took a step closer, his hand reaching out to rest gently on Sunoo's shoulder. "I just want you to know that there's a way forward. You don't have to keep doing this. You don't have to carry that anger forever."
Sunoo looked down, the weight of Niki's touch grounding him. "I don't know if I can just... stop. It's all I've known for so long."
Niki's hand slid from Sunoo's shoulder to his cheek, his thumb brushing lightly along Sunoo's cheekbone. "Maybe you don't have to figure it out all at once. Maybe... we can take it one step at a time."
Sunoo felt his walls crumbling under Niki's gentle touch, the vulnerability in Niki's gaze stripping away his defenses. He closed his eyes, leaning into Niki's warmth as if it were the only thing anchoring him to reality.
"I don't want to lose this," he whispered, his voice raw. "Whatever this is."
Niki's hand slipped from Sunoo's cheek to intertwine with his, squeezing gently. "You won't. We'll figure it out together, Sunoo."
They stood in the quiet, Niki's words settling like a balm over Sunoo's wounded soul. And for the first time in what felt like forever, Sunoo felt a flicker of hope-fragile, but real. With Niki by his side, maybe he could find his way out of the darkness.
