The Pleasure of the Pain

Four- CALEB

The surgeon slipped the surgical cap from his head and walked toward us, a grave look of worry etched on his face. He glanced at Tobias, then settled that focus on me.

"Are you the family of Nicholas Banks?"

"Nick," Tobias answered, rising from the hard plastic seat along the hospital corridor.

"His name is Nick."

"Nick," the doctor repeated.

"He's our brother." I rose with Tobias, my pulse pounding, my voice sounding strange.

"Is he..."

"Alive," the surgeon hurried to answer.

"But barely. He's lost a lot of blood. The knife barely nicked one of the major arteries, any deeper and we'd be having a very different conversation right now. To say it's a miracle your brother's alive is a massive understatement." His bewildered expression said it all.

"I honestly don't understand how he survived."

"I do," I murmured, remembering the desperation on Nick's face when he'd looked up at me, slumped over the steering wheel. Ryth, he'd croaked. Ryth.

"We've given him four units of blood so far and we have more on standby. Once he comes out of recovery, we'll assess his situation and give him more if he needs it. But for now, we're keeping him..."

"Sure," I nodded.

"Whatever you need to do."

"He's one determined man," the surgeon added.

"I don't know what happened, but he had an angel watching over him today." Mom's face rose from the darkness of my mind. I knew I wasn't the only one thinking the same thing. Tobias swallowed hard.

"When can we see him?"

"Once he's conscious. But we're keeping him heavily sedated. You might not get much out of him. "

"That doesn't matter." I shook my head. "That doesn't matter at all." A nod, and the surgeon glanced at Tobias.

"I'll have a nurse come and get you when he's awake." I just stood there, watching the guy turn and leave, before I sank to the hard seat once more.

"Jesus." Tobias' voice shook. I didn't trust my own. I could only lower my head into my hands. Nick was alive...he was alive, and that's all that mattered. Relief flooded through me. I closed my eyes and tried to remember how to function.

"It was mom." I opened my eyes slowly and turned my gaze to Tobias.

"Mom saved him today. That's exactly what she'd do," Tobias insisted, his stare pinned to me.

"That was her all over." I nodded slowly. It was...it was so her to protect her sons. She was selfless and driven, and I could just see her standing there, screaming and savage, when Nick fought for his life.

Pain bloomed in my chest with the image. I didn't know what I'd do if I'd lost Nick too, so soon after her. I'd fall apart...even more than I was right now. I'd fall apart with no hope of putting myself back together.