A Place to Belong - A Woosan Novel

{ 14 - In the Dark }

The night air had grown colder, the quiet rustle of the trees around him doing little to ease the heavy weight in San's chest. He sat on the park bench, his knees pulled up, arms wrapped tightly around himself as though he could somehow keep the pain from spilling out. But it was too late. His body trembled with sobs, the tears falling freely now, streaking his cheeks as he buried his face in his hands.

Everything had come rushing back. The words from his ex, the doubts, the guilt—it had all hit him at once, like a tidal wave, and now San was drowning in it. 

How had he let it get this far? He had been doing so well—he had been happy, hadn't he? Or at least on his way to being happy. But now, all he could feel was the familiar ache of failure, the old wounds reopening, leaving him raw and exposed. His ex's words shattering the tentative peace he'd built around his heart. All the insecurities, mistakes, hurt came pouring back out like a river. 

His sobs echoed in the stillness of the night, but no one was around to hear him. He was completely and utterly alone.  No one should come to save him, he didn't deserve love, he was broken. 

He felt a fresh wave of tears when he remembered running from Wooyoung. He was probably out there somewhere, searching for him, not realizing how pathetic San really was. 

The thought of Wooyoung made San's chest tighten with a different kind of pain—regret. He had run. He had left without even explaining, without giving Wooyoung a chance to help him. 

How could he? How could he let Wooyoung see him like this, broken and afraid? Wooyoung didn't deserve this mess. He didn't deserve to be dragged into the chaos that San's ex had left behind. He didn't deserve to be saddled with San and his baggage. Woo deserved someone fun, loving, not broken. 

San wiped at his tears, but they kept falling, his body refusing to calm down. He felt so small, so powerless, just like he had when he had been with his ex. The man who had taken everything from him, made him feel like he was never enough. Now, here he was, proving his ex right all over again.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, sobbing into the night, when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. At first, he thought it was just another passerby, someone who would ignore him and continue on their way. But then he heard a familiar voice—frantic, full of worry.

"San!"

San's heart lurched at the sound of Wooyoung's voice, but he couldn't move. He couldn't look up. He didn't want Wooyoung to see him like this, broken and unraveling.

"San, please..." Wooyoung's voice was closer now, and a moment later, San felt a warm hand on his shoulder, gentle but steady. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

San swallowed hard, his body shaking as he tried to catch his breath, tried to form words, but nothing came. The sobs kept choking him, making it impossible to speak.

Wooyoung crouched down in front of him, his face full of concern and something deeper—something San couldn't place through the haze of his own pain. Wooyoung didn't say anything for a moment, just knelt there, his hand resting lightly on San's shoulder, grounding him in a way that nothing else could.

When San finally lifted his head, his tear-filled eyes met Wooyoung's, and the sight of the raw worry etched into his features made San's chest tighten even more.

"I'm sorry," San choked out between sobs. "I'm so sorry, Wooyoung. I didn't mean to—you don't want me...I'm..."

"Shh," Wooyoung whispered, cutting him off as he moved to sit beside San on the bench. His arm wrapped around San's shoulders, pulling him close, holding him in a way that felt protective, secure. "You don't have to apologize, San, you didn't do anything wrong. It's okay. I'm here. I've got you."

San collapsed against Wooyoung, his body trembling as he sobbed into Wooyoung's chest. The weight of everything—the past, the fear, the hurt—it all seemed to pour out of him, and Wooyoung took it all in stride, holding him tighter, his hand gently stroking San's hair as he whispered soft reassurances.

"He's an idiot," Wooyoung murmured, his voice soft but firm. "Whatever he said, whatever he did... he's wrong. He's the problem, he's the insecure one. You're not broken, San. You never were. You deserve love, you are so kind, sweet, funny, smart, not to mention handsome." Wooyoung squeezed San's arm when he said the last one, bring a small bit of levity to the moment. 

San's sobs hitched acknowledging the attempt, his chest  still tight as Wooyoung's words washed over him. He wanted to believe them, wanted to let himself trust that Wooyoung saw him differently, but the scars from his past still ran deep. He still wasn't sure he could believe them.

"I don't know how to stop feeling like this," San whispered, his voice hoarse from crying. "Like... like I'll never be enough. Like I could never deserve someone like you."

Wooyoung's arms tightened around him, his breath hitching for a moment before he spoke. "You don't have to be enough for anyone but yourself," he said quietly. "And you're more than enough for me, San. You always have been. I don't want anything from you, other than YOU. That's it, that's all. You is perfect for me and I adore everything about the kind man you are."

San let out another shaky sob, his fingers gripping the fabric of Wooyoung's shirt as he buried his face in Wooyoung's chest. He didn't know if he could believe it yet, didn't know if the words would sink in, but the way Wooyoung held him, the way he refused to let go, made something inside San begin to ease.

"I'm so scared," San admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't want to be hurt again."

Wooyoung pressed a soft kiss to the top of San's head, his voice a soothing balm against the raw edges of San's heart. "I know, jagiya, you won't be," Wooyoung promised, his words filled with quiet certainty. "I'll protect you, San. Always."

San let out a long, shuddering breath, his body slowly beginning to calm in Wooyoung's embrace. The sobs subsided, leaving behind a heavy exhaustion that settled deep in his bones.

Even through the weariness, San felt something else—a warmth that came from the surety of Wooyoung's presence, the knowledge that no matter how broken he felt, Wooyoung would be there to hold the pieces together.

For a long time, they sat there in the dark, Wooyoung's arms wrapped tightly around San, his hand stroking through San's hair in a slow, calming rhythm. Wooyoung whispered soft reassurances, telling him it was okay, that his ex was wrong, that he was worth so much more than the hurt he'd endured. That is was understandable to feel this way, and that Wooyoung could see how brave and strong he is. 

And though San wasn't sure he could agree yet, he allowed himself to feel the safety of Wooyoung's presence, the steady beat of his heart against San's ear, and the quiet promise that Wooyoung wasn't going anywhere.

"I've got you," Wooyoung whispered again, his voice filled with a tenderness that made San's chest ache in the best way. "I'll always be here."

San closed his eyes, letting the warmth of Wooyoung's embrace surround him, and for the first time since he's left his ex, he allowed himself to believe that he didn't have to face the darkness alone. That San could heal, and that he would be there to support him, and maybe even grow to love him.

And with Wooyoung by his side, he felt like maybe anything was possible.