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"The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe." - Gustave Flaubert
The Gemme Community has always believed in perfection, whether it's for our community, or for our precio...
The Fantasy and screen-like approach you took to A Bead in the Lost Woods were my favorite parts of the story. I do not read a lot of BTS, but the ones I have checked out fall under popular tropes on and off Wattpad. This one doesn't. This one is original and feels original, making for a unique Work in Progress. However, this doesn't mean that it doesn't need improvements.
Firstly, while your style is screenplay-like, similar to mine, the story still reads more like a narrative than a screenplay. It works well, but you still try to add screenplay elements, such as words like Later That Day or In the Arcade, instead of building on them and evolving the narrative—meaning you need to move past these simple words for scene changes. They're affecting the narrative's flow because, on nearly every page, you mention something like In the Hospital instead of showing it. Therefore, you struggle with the "show, don't tell" rule, a common mistake in writing.
This is especially noticeable with the pictures you've added of the forest and other settings. Unless you're writing a children's book, a typically published one does not use images to replace the setting. However, there are a few moments where you describe the setting rather beautifully, so I believe you can return to the pages where a picture replaces the setting, cut the image, and use those paragraphs as the base for telling the setting instead of replacing it with a picture.
The plot could be more evident to me, and I do not see many Fantasy elements, even though this book is supposed to be a BTS Alternate Universe Fantasy. I wonder if you could try a pattern instead of having five realistic chapters in a row with only glimpses of the Fantasy world—such as one or two chapters in the real world with the protagonist, and the next two build the Fantasy world she'll eventually explore. You could add more about the rules of the pebble she swallowed and why it's essential for someone like her. I'm saying that you're building the real world nicely, but the Fantasy one's struggling.
Finally, grammar. You struggle in this field. I recommend downloading a grammar app or visiting an editing shop on Wattpad (they're free). The narrative contains run-on sentences, incorrect punctuations, and incorrect use of dialogue. Remember that when someone speaks, and an action follows while they do so, add that action to their line of dialogue. One down—unless you use context clues—may confuse readers that someone else is speaking or acting.
There are also a few instances where you change the tense from past to present and 3rd person point of view to 1st person point of view. I would sit with this undiscovered gem and decide which POV and tense fits the narrative best. If you choose the 3rd person point of view in the past tense, stay in those areas throughout the project. Challenge yourself not to dip into 1st person past or present or 3rd person present.
Regardless of its flaws, this book was enjoyable to read, and I can't wait to see how you improve it in the future!
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