"I think it's time we both let go,"
The words echoed in my head repetitively, never ending. And by every time it does, my shoulders feel heavier and heavier.
I didn't know what I thought was going to happen. I knew this day would come, no matter how much I didn't want it to. I had time to take it all in, to make it less painful. Yet it still felt like hell.
Perhaps there was still a small glimmer of hope in me, telling myself that there was a chance that maybe we'd get our happily ever after. Maybe that's why it hurt so much.
If it was this painful for me, then I wonder what it would be like for her. After all, she was the one who had sacrificed the most in our relationship. She was the one who lost her friends for us, she was the one who let herself be harassed and attacked by millions of people just for me, SHE was the one who made everything okay.
What used to be the sparkle in her eyes was replaced with bloodshot eyes and tears.
I looked down at our hands, intertwined.
"It's not going to end well either way. Believe me, I want to stay, so very badly, but it's just going to end up hurting both of us. We can't stay like this anymore. I- I can't stand seeing you cry."
I nodded.
For a moment, there was only silence. It was just us, staring into each other's eyes, embracing our last moments together.
"So this is it then?" I cried, my voice cracking. "Four years, put to waste?"
A tear trickled down her face. "It- it's for the best," she breathed out.
She shut her eyes, and forced out two words out of her mouth. Two words that made me feel like I was getting punched across the face.
"Goodbye, Lou."
"Goodbye, Eleanor."
"I love you," she whispered. I wanted to say that I loved her back, but I couldn't find my voice. It felt like someone was choking me, muffling my words down my throat.
Her hand squeezed mine for one last time, and as she backed away slowly, they slipped out of my grip.
I watched her turn her back from me, walking out the hotel door. Away and out of my life.
The door shut closed, and I was alone in the hotel room. All the strength I had to keep myself together vanished, and my muscles turned weak. I fell to my knees.
And I cried. Loud, and shamelessly.
